My band, Vaginal Slander, dreams of playing alongside the likes of Rat Pussy.

Comment of the Day should be awarded on weekends, too. Boom.

One Orson Welles, coming right up.

Congratulations, LaComtesse! A microscope cake in celebration of your stellar comment. We're gonna need a higher powered lens.

Volunteering gave me a renewed sense of purpose when I was recovering from a two-year tailspin of depression. It also helped me gain a new skill set when I did a 180 with my career. You can definitely put that experience on a resume, so I can't second KateONineTails' advice enough.

I'm thiiiiis close to a Bernard Black-style meltdown.

Kudos (moo-dos?) and congrats doctor donna!

Coming to the corridors of Clovis Unified School District this September...

Holy shit: you're gonna be rich.

Looks like he has about a jillion more books to sign in that completely candid, not-at-all-posed photo.

Congratulations, cassiebearRAWR! No evolutionary psych textbooks were included in the making of this cake.

Well, if you can't be an athlete...

Slither. Le mot juste.

Beautifully played.

Fucking evidence—how does it work?!

I went back and forth about posting this magical gif—I'm so glad you did. Prince is the king of side-eye.

Holy shit. You are a genius! I totally missed that they were TARDII(?) but now it cannot be unseen. Also: I reeeeaaaaally want a blue bowler hat (with or without bulb).

Thank you for that; I've been meaning to read up on Ryan, and that was an ideal (but terrifying) introduction. He's almost more frightening because he seems so banal.

Your quote just sent a shiver up my spine (for real—and I'm not even American). These are strange and scary times.

Get well soon, Anywho! How's your side-eye collection? I like Colin's subtle sneer in this one...