Never use compressed air or water.

Knowing this girl was no-talent trash from the first fucking billboard I saw is a source of constant reassurance. 

“The new iPad Pro comes in either a 12.9-inch option that starts at $1,000, or 10-inch option that starts at $800. I’ve tried both and prefer the 11-inch device.”

Except for the obvious correct opinion that the world would be vastly better off without Tucker Carlson and his cuntwhore of a daughter.

Collecting garbage foundation of progression

this ip could be amazing were it untied from a shoot-em-up game designed for children

Keep shilling that garbage, shep

Keep shilling that garbage, shep

This looks like utter shit. Does it ship in a garbage bag with a few Aerie panties sprinkled in, Shep and the other one?

This looks like utter shit. Does it ship in a garbage bag with a few Aerie panties sprinkled in, Shep and the other…

“for Trump”

What that presupposes is that “police” is actually a “job”

DJ Khaled is inspirational to me. Look at all he has achieved with so little talent. He believes in himself. 

*If you’re a delicate honkey

tldr it doesn’t fuckin matter

Everyone knows the best ‘50s music’ was recorded in the late-1960s.

Garbage Sons is not an Onion Blog and also should be at the top of this list.

Ariana Grande is the Wario of pop starlets.

My Airbnb horror story is:

Did you get it for free along with a garbage bag full of Aerie undies?

Did you get it for free along with a garbage bag full of Aerie undies?

Actually, I enjoy when my video games trigger fragile honkeys.

I want my video games to trigger fragile honkeys. Sue me.