In Argentina, where I am from, we celebrate “cumplemes” (“monthday”) for babies. Instead of “cumpleaños” (birthday), we celebrate each month they grow older until babies are a year old.

They have a bed for a coffee table.

Ben Carson as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

Ladies and gents, your de facto First Lady.

What’s especially useful about you guys is that you make it so easy to spot you.

Bullshit.

We are in a position such that when they put in Reince as Chief Of Staff, I think I actually breathed a sigh of relief as there would be a goddamn adult (albeit one I have no time for) in the room.

Breitbart are in the goddamn White House.

Please attend a hockey game where the blackhawks are the visiting team. Then tell me how well their fans have kept things in perspective.

This is modern day Nazi Germany in it’s infancy. We need to stamp it out before it gets too powerful.

Yeah, no. Fuck them. I’ll give them the same fucking respect they gave to President Obama. Zero. This country is now the laughing stock of the world.

I still miss Grantland.

Comey couldn’t wait EIGHT DAYS to complete an ongoing investigation, as per protocol, to mention the fucking emails?! You know, show some restraint, like he has about ongoing investigations into Trump dealings?! What a bag of cocks. He better be drafting a resignation letter now, he’s out of a job Jan. 21.

There’s nothing to indicate that these were Clinton’s emails.

Oh, eat a dick.

“Sad. Sad little crybaby loser who probably cant even take a shower with a beautiful woman without wearing his jeans. He’s probably crying because he’s surrounded by black guys living in hell and because in Chicago, which Obama invented, teenage white girls cant even walk down the street without having a baby ripped…

No one hates the Cubs more than I do, but christ, just let them have their fun for another day before going on seemingly pointless rants about how they may or may not end up like Boston fans. As Barry said, they get until their parade and then they can go fuck themselves (paraphrasing).

I can’t believe this is the shit we argue about in 2016 and that Donald Trump could be our president next week. What the hell happened?

When did you lose your soul and become allergic to fun?

I think the rule is, fans get until the parade and then it’s open season on those assholes.

Listen, I’m going to take this as a sign that a long-cursed entity can defeat a racist mascot — and that it can happen twice in one week. Go Hubbies!