I couldn't agree more. Trying to get out of jury duty doesn't help anyone. We need sane, reasonable people on juries. This means you.

#2: For every gratuitous use of exclamation marks, you must discharge a weapon.

Glad he showed her "how to make a fist that won't break her thumbs." That fist with the thumbs tucked in she was making was bothering me!

Who the hell are these jurors? That they would acquit makes my head spin (and stomach retch). This is why I always tell my friends and co-workers not to try to duck jury duty. If, god forbid, you were ever in court, wouldn't you want a jury made up of people like you? (And not those morons on this case.)

Oh hey, where does the line begin for this? There are so many of us who want a piece of this action.

"Separately, Al Qaeda issued a statement confirming bin Laden's death."

I think when you say, "it's pretty safe to assume she'll never do this again" you are assuming too much.

Yeah, well, at some point the orthodoxy of this site established that Munn was bad, so that's how it goes. She could find a cure for cancer tomorrow, and some folks would still find something to complain about.

"Either be a school teacher or author"

Will wearing those shoes give readers permission to call you a cougar?

That may be true at some schools, but not at most. Studies, by the Chronicle of Higher Ed and other groups, have shown that frat alums are not more likely to give than non-frat alumni. The same is true of alums who played sports. (For example, even after schools have cut a sports program for financial reasons, their…

That's what happens when you drink and type. Four sips, and you're all over the keyboard!

How would the joke have fared if Chelsea Handler had said it?

Yeah, because Donohue should know all about being irrelevant. Bish, please.

Now THAT would be obscene!

(image fail, sorry)

(damn image fail, again)

There are some heart-warming stories of Tuxedo cats, I'll admit. But this is for all the marbles. Go Corgi!

Hey Jez, I don't know if you heard, but somewhere in Philly (or Newark, LA, Houston, etc.) a high school teacher spent tons of time motivating students to learn, keeping parents engaged, helped with PTA fund-raisers, and even donated money (no doubt from a hefty salary) to help produce a school play. But you wouldn't…

If you have such contempt for children, you shouldn't be in education.