Well of course they can't use Apple products - the very logo is an apple with a bite taken out of it. The last thing you want is a bite from an apple from the tree of knowledge. Nooo way, take your Satan tablet and crazy internets away from this house, thank you very much!

Eh, you think that basil plant's nice? I've got two pots - goddam, look at that back yard!

We play this game, too! Other favorites:

My friend in college put a sticker over lipstick label and renamed the color "Fuck Me Red". It was very appropriately labelled.

"take it off google" - ha! No less than the Library of Congress archives all twitter activity.

I came here to say the same thing.

That is hilarious. At the very least, you should write these down, publish a memoir, and pay for your kids' college. Good luck to ya!

Good grief, how is your life not a sitcom? (I mean that in a good(ish) way, too!)

If only! There's a dress store in a local strip mall that makes these dresses look classy and downright demure. It's enough to bring out the cranky old parent in me. Fortunately, it's right next door to my favorite ice cream shop, which is why I how I know about the dress joint.

That would be awesome. He's awesome.

"Guuuuys, you know it's really hard for us to support all your goofy liberal causes. Some of us are up for re-election this year, so we can't be seen doing anything nice for illegal immigrants. And anything same-sex really creeps us out. No fair!"

My neighbor has a lovely, aging Great Dane. At the local dog park, there is a miniscule fur ball (technically, it's a dog, I don't know the breed) that is always yapping at it. Between the Great Dane's hearing (which ain't great) and the fur ball's size (which also ain't great), I don't think the Great Dane is even…

Yup, it's a culture war masquerading as fiscal policy. If it isn't PP, it's cutting funding for public broadcasting or the NEA. Nevermind that it's one proverbial drop in the fiscal bucket that is our federal budget.

"leather bound" - oh, I see what you did there. And I approve.

So to clarify, I took Communion when offered by the aforementioned Jesuit priest. And he did more than imply it was appropriate. While I cannot reproduce his explanation in full, neither Scripture nor Canon Law forbid non-Catholic Christians from taking Communion. And there is evidence from Church histrorty that…

I understand what you're saying, and normally do not take communion at a Catholic mass. But in this case, the priest who was celebrating (a Jesuit and well-respected scholar) had a long explanation for why it was appropriate for non-Catholic Christians who are in good standing in their faith (and I would have…

I am disappointed to see the videos and stills posted here, but encouraged by the outrage of my fellow readers. But what I find most striking is Jezebel's utter silence. Hey Jez, wake up! Your readers are up in arms and want some kind of response and accounting for your actions. How can you be silent at a time like…

I know what you mean. I've also attended mass my Catholic friends and sometimes got uncomfortable stares from people when I took Communion even though I wasn't Catholic. Sometimes you can't win.

Donna Dubuinsky, former CEO of Palm, Inc, later co-founded Handspring, then merged with Palm. Her work was at the forefront of PDAs and made possible today's Blackberry's, iPhones, and Android devices.

I think part of what has upset so many people is that SGK has built an incredibly large and influential organization based on finding a cure for breast cancer - and who could possibly be opposed to that? As a result, they enjoyed almost universal support from people (including powerful politicians and celebrities) and…