are you new here 

A Bryan Goldberg machine is a device designed to perform a simple task incorrectly.

My issue with it is precisely that: that the movie *thinks* it’s a big reveal, but it wasn’t surprising in the slightest given what she’s been through. And was that implied? Part of my issue was that she just goes back to her abusive uncle without any real conflict resolution.

Bo knows filmmaking. 

Over the course of the movie, the villain has the girls remove their shirts, except for the lead. In the final chase sequence, the protagonist is briefly clawed by the Beast, tearing her shirt off, which reveals that she’s covered in scars. He then screams “YOU’RE PURE!” because wow, she’s suffered and is therefore...…

I definitely wouldn’t say incredible, but sure, I can see liking it more than I did. But what on earth would you call the abusive uncle backstory and cutting reveal if not exploitative? The whole thing is based on the order in which the girls’ shirts are removed. I mean, come on.

Agreed. That’s another stupid fucking argument from people who willfully ignore things literally said and done in TLJ. At no point does Luke state or do anything to that shows him “giving up” on Kylo. The fact that he DIDN’T physically confront him supports that: Luke didn’t see a benefit to engage in a laser sword…

What a twist!

To critics everywhere: Stop encouraging M. Night Shyamalan. Split was fun until it became exploitative trash.

The Onion/Clickhole/AV Club need to be independent again. I do not care what happens to the rest of it. 

You’ve just been Kinja’ed.

So many others dumped site because of tantrum about Kinja. They all migrated to the-avocado.org, which basically giant untethered comment section with occasional piece of pretty-good pop culture-related writing. Dikachu is in fact OK — he founded that site, and then took step back, but me follow him on Twitter, and…

I think Melania just overdid it with the fillers. Plus, picking a double that actually looks like Melania wouldn’t be BoneSpur’s style. He’d pick a completely different looking (and much younger) woman and then declare that this was what Melania has always looked like and only someone who hates America and loves MS-13…

I’m disappointed you went with “whipped” instead of “thrown back like a fridge caught in a nuclear blast.”

Fuckin’ consumer advocacy, how does it work?

Miller: “....and then, the bartender follows me out, yells my name and double birds me right there in the parking lot! Can you even imagine?”

Pretty sure the half-sister’s lines were:

How many Joey Lawrences does this movie need?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Best’s performance. He’s an early prototype for the kind of all-in CGI acting that Andy Serkis would perfect.