I am very excited that a discussion about a disgusting salad can include vital historical information about bananas. I love you and your bananapocolypse story Mr. Fischoeder.

This smug bullshit is why these two potential Democrat voters won’t vote for us! Stop shaming them!

Remember, just as dress sizes used to be different, they used a different kind of banana in the old days so the taste might not be the same. Still terrible, but not the same.

What is considered “conservative” in Germany is considered more to the left in America. For conservatives in Germany universal health care is a sound idea. Not so here.

More people voted for Clinton. Never forget that. We lost, but we are the majority.

My sister died the same day I was going on vacation. It was only because we told people where we were stopping that they were able to get in touch with me so I could turn around and go to a funeral instead of Six Flags.

This is extremely embarrassing, but I sharted on my way home from work on Wednesday. I had stress poops all day at work and I just wasn’t expecting it. Trump made me dump (in my pants) :(

Why did it take a white woman on the ticket in order for so many white Democrats to register a fact that has been true for 50 years? I’m fucking serious. Instead of fussing over all those other white people who voted for Trump, maybe this is a good moment for self-reflection. If it surprises you that a majority of…

nah

As impossible as it feels, remain calm and DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT.

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows

When this motherfucker has the best take of the bunch, you know they fucked up.

Those dudes all expect participation ribbons at the very least.

Thank you! In the other post, I ranted about why I’ve had enough of the entitled white male schtick. Just shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. This is not your election. This is mine.

Dumb-possibly-obvious question from someone who doesn’t use Twitter and only sees them linked in news posts (like this one!): How do you tell it’s an Android tweet? Is there like a symbol in those linked Tweets above or a different font style or something?

They gotta pander to their base.

I’m a blue dot in Texas. And while my vote might not matter right now, it might very well matter in the future. Voting now can set the tone for what our future can become. This little drop could one day become a small pond, a river, a lake.

They seem like assholes.

“I waited three hours to vote,” a female coworker announced proudly this morning. “Too bad your vote doesn’t matter,” responded a chorus of male voices. How damning, disappointing, and predictable.”