We now bring you Patton’s testimony, live from next month -

The thing that rubs me the wrong way is that we cant fix things at home because “not enough money,” we can’t fix things in PR because “not enough money.” But the moment one of the most well off countries in the world has a national landmark burn, one that has gaind an insaine amout of donations from the super rich,…

Notre Dame isn’t a motherfucking tragedy. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Dearest Kayla,
I have one moment this morning to write to Let you that we were courageous and successful this night against the Columbia District Nationals & matters Seem to be a Little more Easy. The morrow will see batting practice again, though our Philadelphia nine remain unchallenged in battle yet this year.…

Well, I don’t think you’re going to like my Bryce Harper sign, then...

I am replying to myself and my own article to let the record show that I am not racist since I wear white after Labor Day.

The minute he said this I knew the proverbial shit would hit the fan. I mean Jordan didn’t even have to say this because we all know how white men react when any film, TV show, Broadway Play, off Broadway play, mini series, Romantic Comedy, porno or Instagram post doesn’t revolve around them or their shitty lives. Oh…

It ends with a scene of the bris for Tony Stark and Pepper’s son(they have been secretly jewish this whole time). Vision cuts the foreskin using a heat beam with the mind stone. Spider-man webs it up with his webbing stuff. War Machine is the rabbi (also jewish).

As a former college player (SEC) and participant in dozens of national and state tournaments, let me make an observation about President Trump and his golf game:

If you feel like games are cheaper and better a year later, maybe stop buying them the day they come out?

Also, Aaron Rodgers is fucking Kirk Cousins....for some reason?

Ole is, was, and always will be a World Champion Asshole. It’s safe to assume he’s pissed Vince off at some point, and guaranteed that Vince has pissed him off. Shit, David probably pissed Ole off by not mentioning him in this post.

#H8UsCuzTheyB8Us

This team really is committed to illegally getting stuff released from their balls.

You, a fool: Game Of Thrones will end with the Night King winning and sitting on the Iron Throne, ushering in a realm of frozen zombies ruling Westeros
Me, enlightened: Game Of Thrones will end with Nymeria and her Dog Army winning and sitting on the Iron Throne, ushering in a realm of Good Doggies ruling Westeros.

It’s Wisconsin. That something in the water is beer-cheese soup.

I mean, you say your kids are cool, but are they so cool you want to fuck them?  

Joe Biden would throw that shit out with the trash and install a Golden Tee machine with oversized drink holder and ashtray. 

Counterpoint: this is better than literally anything else he would potentially otherwise be doing. Let’s just load Pebble Beach and see him in two years.

Disney, you’re releasing too many movies. Too many for anyone to care. What are you even doing?