Then this happened...

What the fuck is WRONG with people this week on the subject of 9/11?? Was it not bad enough to live through - whether in NYC or elsewhere - that you have to make shit up and/or throw yourself a 9/11 themed wedding to feel relevant? JESUS, PEOPLE.

What a fucking idiot. Comics are generally stupid fucking idiots, so I'm really not surprised.

What did JFK’s brain matter taste like?

I was in the car on Dealey Plaza when JFK was shot.

I’m so tired of Ben Roethlisberger trying to shove his shit down people’s throats.

So...

Can we just launch people like this to the moon? Landing or crashing, I don’t fucking care. Just get them off our rock.

“Do what kids you want.”

NO, NO, NO!! Battery life is not the most important thing. The most important thing is THIN — the phone and laptop must be thin! Thin as a straight razor, thin as in one atom thick, thin as in “thin is in.” Don’t you ever read product reviews on Gizmodo??

I just assumed that the person who said that was twelve years old. Fran Tarkenton is the reason many non-Minnesota residents root for the Vikings. Granted, most of these fans are more than forty years old, but they’re out there.

I even throw Randall Cunningham into the mix cause he was the driver of the ‘98 season. Also...Warren Moon played for us, we suck so bad people forget that GOOD QBs have actually played for us.

Our all time best Quarterback was borrowed from Green Bay.

This Vikings fan has won more titles than the actual Vikings team:

What was her mustache like?

Minnesota gave us Prince, who I believe is the best, most original and groundbreaking musician of the last 50 years. He was written 26,174 great songs and one turkey. The turkey?

“Teddy Bridgewater, who is poised, accurate, intelligent, tough, and has the arm strength of an amputee baby.”

Yeah, and Bob Dylan’s hometown Hibbing booed him off the stage, so he moved to Minneapolis, which enjoyed so much that he quickly moved to New York.

You forgot to point out that Minnesota also gave us Bob Dylan and F. Scott Fitzgerald.