I have no idea how Fernando Alonso walked away from that.

It’s a complicated issue, not one that’s quite so clear cut as it might seem. I’m more familiar with the Elgin marbles, but it’s basically the same thing here. First, the artifacts were technically legally acquired, as the Egyptian government gave permission. Of course it is important to note though that at the time…

I love that this guy isn’t even the craziest person in his family.

But the quote came from the mouth of noted and studied basketball scholar Master P so I feel like I should believe it.

Not my Rob Ford crack pipe though, that stays at home!

I cant forgive him for the socks though...

“It’s important to keep every workplace drug-free. You don’t want people on drugs running the fryer at McDonalds.”

here fucking here Andrew.

My daily fantasy would entail not sitting in traffic.

You know because anyone being out of uniform in the NFL will cause total anarchy and next thing you know dogs and cats are living together. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

I bet you’re a ball at parties...

Have you read anything written by Tyler? He's one of the most thorough and respected authors on Gawker.

I figured it was a scar caused by the friction of the giant brass balls of the crew of the tanker dragging down the runway.

The mark on the runway isn’t from the f4, it’s a result of the pilot’s pants finally exploding.

He’s famous and has devoted underlings who fix it for him. They get jobs from him, make money, and bathe in the light of his celebrity.

Jesus, what a fucking scumbag.

SCOTT NORWOOD HAS A NAME!!

With all due respect to reader Benjamin, Jon Gruden has clearly committed to Kurt Russell’s Snake Pliskenn growl.