Why, you lousy no good so and so, you oughta be tossed inna glass dungeon cell an' the key tossed away fer not giving props to her most sensually spectacular achievement, that too oft forgotten psycho-sexual ultra surreal mindfuck of a thriller, The Cell.

Your well considered, concise appraisal of J Lo's relative attractiveness—or lack thereof, to be more accurate—is of utmost concern to myself and to those of us who have one last final fuck to give, lucky fer you.

You mean like Religion? Or Democracy? Or Career Counseling?… Bazinga!

Joltin' Joe, The Yankee Clipper! What little tyke isn't talking, tweeting and snapchatting about him?!

College educated middle class white dudes talk about Tom Waits like California Farm Workers talk about Cesar Chavez. Or like college educated middle class white dudes talk about Che Guevara. Yoink!

Ya know what? I don't think you are loco por las cornballs. I think you're Bluthing.

If you're like me—and most people aren't—you're on both sides, or neither side. But either way you have a large inventory of t-shirts, hats, pennants and bobble heads celebrating both sides' victory, selling the winner's gear at a huge markup and dumping the loser's gear on 3rd world nations—such as Liberia or New…

Time to die… and then Grittier Reboot!

Yes!

*Personal Fusion Energy Reactor continues to softly hum and glow iridescent lavender as entire Universe contracts instantly to a theoretical singularity while a lone android cockroach scurries across the eternal infinite void of nothingness, and then monocle explodes into gazillion diamond like shards*

Liberals… Together… Strong!!!

"Audience here today is from Minsk Bus & Truck Works. They visit us, then tour Szyrpski Institute for the Politically Insane…"

Yeah, that one's less of a mind fuck than his others and more of good ol' fashioned Saturday afternoon popcorn crunchin' good time. Well, as much as a Lynch movie can be.

Sorry, I can't understand your comment. What is that weird moon-man language?!

See, now THAT I understand, perfectly. Sure, I'd love to come, and yes, I'll bring my signature dish, boiled yak ears and quinoa. It's a crowd favorite.

It's all Greek to me. And silly Greek, at that.

But the amazing thing is how much he obsesses over the surface qualities; the colorations, the textures, the sensations—both visually and aurally—as well as the staggering superficial beauty of his actors. He revels in the outer appearances, but does so in a way that reveals and magnifies the inner lives.…

I love that movie, a lot. The pacing, tone and vibe are so wonderfully unusual. Lynch didn't write it, it believe, and so it's more direct and sincere in it's delivery than his other films, but his unique eye and ear are very present.

And it's also about the societies and cultures which make such a fuss about movies. It's a self critical comment upon the seemingly inescapable, insidious cycle of art imitating life imitating art, etc. as experienced via the treacherous realm of Hollywood Cinema, where our individual identities are so inextricably…

The GOOD painters, yes, they generally defer from over explaining their pictures. Some of the GREAT painters, however, could and did speak very eloquently and precisely about their own work, such as Picasso who I think provided most eloquent, most poetic, and most revealing words on his own art. Most artists, of…