I t makes me wanna run for the border! Am I doing this right?

Your level of sophisticated punnery is rare. Bloody rare.

I certainly can't stomach it, I haven't the intestinal fortitude… Feces.

In that case expect a 1,000 ton weight to fall on you.

She has to constantly tell them to not spit, swallow!

Now why ya gotta drag God into this ugly mess?!

In my previous past life experience of toiling in the Communications, Advertising and Graphics industries I found that Communications Majors and Employees were almost to a person the ones most afflicted with poor, very poor, piss poor communications skills. Ironic? No. Fucking frustrating!!

Cigarette, expect a call from Human Resources very shortly.

Pizza Hut pizza has Turbo Flavorific Enhancers. Can your puny pizza claim that?!

Draw "Winky" and you're qualified to attend the Prestigious & Pompous Art School for the Pathetically Poorly Parented.

Hey, get a load of this Hoity Toity High Society Show Dog with his Fancy Pants Pedigree "resume."

I craft REAL pizza, you midwestern yahoo bumpkin!

As a proud and pompous graduate of the highly esteemed and prestigious University of Pizza Hut, where I received a PhD (Pizza has Dough) in "Crust Improvement by Stuffing it with All Kinds of Neat Shit," I take particular and emphatic issue with the outrageously smug, snide and snarky tone of this article. Your…

I offer the least possible.

The McPoyles are monsters, dark horrible inhumane creatures that bare no resemblance to me or anyone I know, whereas the Gang are real people, like us all, but maybe just a teeny tiny bit more selfish, sick, twisted and evil. And funny.

The Gang: "Why did you take a turd on the floor?!"
Frank: "Because it's funny."

Uh, sure, why not.

I had a thought: It would've been interesting and satisfying to me if rather than having Cricket's horribly tragic condition be entirely the fault of the Gang's inhumane treatment of him to instead have shown that Cricket is actually just as craven and depraved as anyone in the Gang, that rather than his pathetic…

How so?

The Puritanical heritage of the USA has incited some genuinely irrational, insane modes of thought, especially when it comes to dealing with any of the classical, biblical vices. If this country wasn't so miserably conflicted and damaged by the Archly Gothic brand of Christianity which persists even today there would…