"Hundreds of thousands of indifferent sentient adults nonplussed by unceremonious non-firing of Cannon."

America's Got Talent for self inflicting serious head wounds.

He really loves his kids. He's a great fodder; Cannon fodder.

And the Demonic Arches food is more of a nostalgia thing than actually tasting better or even tasting that good. The fries are NOT as good as the hype insists. The Maniacal Mickey Ds adds a secret flavoring agent to virtually everything they sell—even the fucking apple pieces!—which is probably a variation on MSG but…

I used to occasionally hang out at a slightly upscale titty bar that served amazing hot wings—the best in the city—and their french fries were fantastic. And the hot roast beef sandwich, outstanding. And even a truly superb pan seared tuna with wasabi sauce.

Yes, you're known for tooting your own horn.
and…
For bangin' your own bongos.
For fingering your own fret board.
For plucking your own harp.
For slappin' your own bass.
For strumming your own ukulele.
For abusing your own banjo. (That one's not an euphemism)
For sliding your own trombone.
For touching your own tuba.
For…

Not to be confused with the renowned guitar, mandolin & violin maker, Marty Luthier.

Yes, that was a good day.

He wasn't just a rail splitter, he was a tail splitter.

Devo.

…Dawes.

That's not a job, that's a bad habit. Drop it!

I keep thinking she's Nasim Pedrad's sister, or cousin, or stalker. Her stand up act is, um, odd. Her impressions are, um, odd. And her facial expressions are, um, odd. She's, um, odd.

The AV Club is not sending us their best stories. They're sending us stories about the internet doing a "great" job, stories about comic books and comic book characters no one likes or respects, and stories about food rapists.

Wat da fuk duz dat meen?!

So, it's a tie!

No need for you to apologize, at all. The USA is a terribly powerful country with a formidable global presence, so it's only natural and right that you'd be concerned about what actions our government takes and about what attitudes, sentiments, and beliefs the American people have in response. People in this country…

He's a fairly incompetent luggage tracker, apparently.

Sarcastic? Fuck sarcastic, I'm being snarky. Snarky!… SNARKY!!!

Marco!