…she sits around the house!

I hope the show doesn't fall on its axis, and I gotta admit I do enjoy Elizabeth's axis.

His mouth is writing A LOT of checks that congress might not be willing to cash, at least not once the citizenry begin to hear of the massive, perpetually escalating bills rolling in.

Are cucks the ones who need to believe that being a real man means holding doors and pulling out chairs, bringing home the bacon, and not using spicy language in the presence of a lady? Or are cucks the ones who champion the rights of women, insist upon fair and equal treatment of all people, and celebrate the…

Fear, especially irrational fear, is probably the greatest, most dependable motivator to get people to abandon their core values. Privacy? Fuck that!! There's treacherous dish washers and lawn groomers just waiting for the chance to slit my throat and steal all my shit, brah!

Well, that's only $5 more than the additional $5 we now must fork over for every airplane ticket we purchase—and car and hotel room we rent—ostensibly for Homeland Security. And that doesn't include the higher percentage of our tax dollars used to support new and ramped up Security Initiatives, as well as to support…

See, right there, you just lost at least half the population. You've discriminated against the vast hordes of non-thinking, gut-feeling motivated zombies; the Joe and Jane 6 packs who, goddammit, deserve to have a leader that they can personally relate to in the most intimate and invasive and irrelevant ways possible.…

I can't escape this gnawing sneaking feeling that I've been psychologically training my whole life for this very moment, as if all my senses are now heightened and tuned to the critical task looming before us all: Stopping the wholesale mass destruction of nature. If not enough is done immediately to avert the rapidly…

And no titties!

Everyone knows if you want to take an intentionally deceptive selfie you take it from a high angle. Jeesh.

Grade school?! Aha, that's how they're doing it!… Oh, Grad school. Never mind.

The what?!

Ben & Jerry's is in Vermont, right?!

The Don's Great Wall is no different than having to take your shoes off at the airport. It's just a pointless inconvenience intended to demonstrate that Homeland Security has control over your life and can arbitrarily impose its will, regardless of rationality. Locking the barn door after the horse gets out is somehow…

In double Jeopardy if you get even one letter wrong in the title of a work or a persons name—such as by adding an S at the end—you get no credit. How is omitting a "The" OK?!

#notallWrdrbes

I mentioned this to my mom tonight when I called, that Alex often will emphatically stress that it's the "lady" who has been been winning or to point out whatever astounding, inconceivable feats of above-averageness that a female contestant has achieved. My mom said "But it is the lady who won." *whooosh* Older…

I always tease my mother about watching the Lawrence Welk show, which she doesn't actively watch. But if I'm over for dinner on a Saturday and see it's 7pm I'll announce "Mom, you're show's on!" and flip over to it and excitedly ask her "Isn't this great?!" as though I'm asking her if she needs to go out, like you'd…

Doubly cromulent!

Chris Mathews, who hails from Philadelphia, doesn't get pinned down by her, but he also doesn't follow thru with his attacks and strike mortal wounds, presumably because he either consciously or otherwise is reluctant to too harshly attack a woman. Chris is able to dismiss Kelly in the middle of one of her automatic…