That would mean you retired at age 10?

Sounds like that little rascal of a tumor is already working its mischievous magic!

Thanks, that was fun. But I've never understood why he would run from a gaggle of naked women? And why the helmets?!

He died doing what he loved least: gasping desperately for air as his ancient exhausted heart desisted from its lifelong ritualistic pulsing song of hope…

I wanna end it all in a massive, cataclysmic, apocalyptic, Earth shattering fit of boredom. Anything less will be disappointing.

The horse wasn't dancing, it was afflicted with a massive paralyzing brain seizure as it desperately tried to escape the awful horrible sound of cravenly calculated pop music.

Bernie Sanders! It's not too late!!

Obama did what he's always done, which is try to accommodate the largest number of interests possible. He's got a well documented history of being highly motivated to employ rational thought to hopefully arrive at a more acceptable and equitable position for all parties involved, even if it means compromising his own…

They should put that scenario in a movie!!

Ideally, the very long torso and disproportionately short legs should be attached to one another, and not stored in separate air sealed packages in your basement chest freezer along with many other of your gruesomely acquired "trophies."

"Feed me, asshole."

Luckily I find dumping a bucket of ice cubes down my shorts to be very pleasurable, so I thrive on that kind of denial.

And if you washed yourself regularly—you filthy casual—you'd burn even more calories, needlessly. Personal hygiene is overrated, and bad for the environment.

You're damn right it's a bad trip, man; a friggin God awful, mind numbing, psyche devastating bad trip, dude. And please, don't call me Shirley.

Wrong!! Every nickel you so gleefully toss into the pockets of those Fast Food Mafia hoodlums subsidizes the wholesale rape of the our planet's dwindling imperiled natural environmental bounty. Every pound of hormonally enhanced, antibiotically saturated meat sludge consumed in blissful ignorance by all the smugly…

She was a contented, even tempered land cruiser, fer sure, until you stomped on the peddle and the Holley dumped a quart of go-juice into the 8 cylinders and she'd rumble, rattle and roar like the King of the Jungle. But she stuck to the pavement like a locomotive on rails, and I never had the slightest doubts about…

Well, it's a horrible job for anyone to attempt, especially if that person has anything resembling a conscience. And the fact that he's been so thoroughly thwarted for most of his tenure by the maniacally demented (racist) Republicans in Congress has greatly limited what he's been able to achieve and has greatly…

Even drugged up on powerful painkillers JFK wasn't half as cool as Obama, which defies logic as well as pharmaceutical science.

No, JFK's not as cool as Obama because JFK simply isn't as cool as Obama. That's it, the long and short of it. JFK was relatively devoid of genuine natural rhythm, but rather exuded a certain bland, unsyncopated adroit directness. Compared to Obama JFK lacked swagger. Barack could literally sing the entirety of his…

Doooooooooood - you have some spinach in your teeth.