The other day I was at Sam’s Club (don’t judge me) and there was a parking spot for the Associate of the Month. Which reminded me of a great line I heard about how being an Employee of the Month is a great way to be a winner and a loser at the same time.

I learned early on that if I didn’t speak for myself, I couldn’t tell the story

The thing I remember most about TBAF is the description of the guy’s chewing tobacco juice just running out of his mourth and freezing on his beard. I honestly only vaguely remember that there is a dog in the story.

London was definitely a lead conductor on the “master race/alpha male/eugenics” train.

Lilo & Stitch is a criminally under-rated movie. When Stitch says “this is my family. It is little. And broken. But good.” Man, I still tear up at that. As someone who came from a “broken” family where I received way more love than many of my friends who lived with both their parents, that still hits close to home…

...and so on, and so on, and so on.

I always wondered how hot balls were. Now I know!

I don’t remember which game it was this weekend, but one of them went to commercial break over the dulcid tones of Cemetery Gates.

AAAAYYYY, Billy! Listen to your mother!

This article is like a political version of “Let’s Remember Some Guys.”

Eerie silence. Every single time, and it’s not even close.

Look at this guy, thinking Meyer is embarrassed by anything that he’s associated with!

If you have the opportunity, go to Dookie Chase’s on a Friday night (when they have the full dinner menu available). Several years ago, there were a dozen or so of us who got the family-style dinner with what felt like everything and it is in my top-5 meals of all time.

Trained camel? Preposterous!

He seems like a harmless guy (in the grand scheme of things) who just wants to play guitar.

Even without seeing that there was a youtube link, I heard “for a Farrrrr better deal” in my head.

But the amazing (well, not that amazing) thing is that they haven’t floated up to the top. Like, in almost never. They have literally won their division three times. Twice during that incredible three-year run when they a playoff game and once in 1983 when they went 9-7.

If only they didn’t get fucked by that toilet of a stadium, two brutally-timed strikes, the weak Canadian dollar, and Jeffrey fucking Loria.

My guess is that all five candidates are on the ballot and you can vote for a certain number of them (probably three, but I’m not completely sure). The top three vote-getters make the council.

Don’t forget Stax. That is a high-quality museum. Very different from the Sun Records tour, but equally enjoyable.