I worked with my cousin at the family frozen banana stand one summer and it was really awkward.

My wood usually flails around like that when I get near third base.

Blu Hunt and True O’Brien are both in the running to play Danni Moonstar, a.k.a. Mirage

Even though I know who Lonzo Ball is and am, in my opinion, a reasonably intelligent individual, I still read the headline as saying that “Lonzo Ball” was a thing like smallball (just related to the way that Lonzo Ball plays, whatever that is) and it was something that wouldn’t work for the Celtics in advance of their…

No, it is not a tech article. Unless you would claim that an article about what particular apps are on my daughter’s phone is also a tech article. Which, of course it isn’t because NOBODY (not even me) cares what apps are on the phone of my daughter who happens to be a legal adult (which is why even I don’t care).

except Party Cannon.

One of these things is not like the others

Well, you’ve got the first half correct...

Are you implying that the Knicks, Nets, and Kings haven’t been mocked mercilessly on Deadspin?

Oh, man. I LOVED this book when I was a kid. For anyone who hasn’t read it, I won’t spoil the plot twist as to the identity of the Monster at the End of the Book that Grover is trying to avoid, but I think Buzzfeed has a 20-page slideshow about how YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHO THE MONSTER AT THE END OF THE BOOK IS, so you…

Single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history?

In addition, he hasn’t been treated unfairly at all! He’s terrible! He should be treated MUCH worse than he has been. The only way for him to actually be treated unfairly (in a bad way, which is what I’m sure he’s talking about) would be for the entire Fourth Estate, along with every single person who will be…

It practically writes itself!

I completely agree with this. Everyone thinks SNL was most funny when they were 17-21 years old (including me).

Connor, blink twice if he has a gun shoved into your right kidney. Keep calm, the negotiators are on their way.

You had a Reliant K? LUXURY!

yeah, with nobody else.

“Webster’s International Directory defines ‘working’ as....”

I originally mis-read that as saying “Rename your Tampex ‘Trumpcare’.”

You leave the Cassowary OUT of this!