I'll bite.

And to think, all this time, Drew has been The Miz and we never knew it.

May Mean Gene be pelted directly in the face with that oversized soda for eighteen years to come.

No coach can use tactics to create more quality, only to enhance it. That Belgium match was a great benchmark: we have the desire and the athleticism to suceed, but we are sorely lacking in the top-to-botyom class neccesary. After a fairly crazy cycle we have a fairly predictable last four. Why? Because they have the…

90's nostalgia continues unabated...

Read the man above: sometimes you need a little disruption. Like your cognitive system does trying to understand what the shit is going on in front of you when you just want to read Grant Wahl, please?

"And, umm, I'm at work right now, don't own any video game consoles."

"Haters gonna hate"

This right here is necessary journalism.

Funnily enough the Aussies are the "Socceroos"

Like most things in life, let's try to keep Don Henley out of this.

Does the USMNT have a nickname besides, well...the USMNT? Stars and Stripes doesn't seem to hold the center. "Yanks" seemed proper but 70% of the supporters certainly hate the other professional Yanks so that might be a non-starter.

When did Chelsea sell Torres?

It no longer makes sense for ManYoo to think that way, specifically in the Prem. It was easier a number of years ago to swagger in to England, empty a dump truck full of money, and start collecting titles. But that was a time when there were only so many financial powerhouses in the world (specifically Real, Barca,…

And I don't know why we're not crediting the author with his proper name: C'lay.

Long sleeve shirt, never unbend the elbow. Now if you'll excuse me I need to not go to Red Lobster again.

This is the major league sports equivalent of giving my mom an iPad.

Because women are inferior! Bwahahaha aw man this guy gets it. Am I right fellas?

I honestly don't even know anymore if that helps or hurts my statement.

The more and more tracks like this come out, it's becoming harder and harder to not think of them as one of the best American bands, period. Genre be damned.