Don’t forget Tesla doesn’t have the massive army of dealers where they can just dump their inventory. The direct sales feature works great until you lose discipline around matching production to demand.

This is pretty weak after selling a flame thrower and a hammer that can’t be used as a hammer. I expect better than some Costco style repackaging of someone else’s product. Let me know when they release the $900 knife that opens inward towards the palm, like a real Tesla product would. 

I’m saving my money for the Tesla-branded Bible.

Wife dodged at least one bullet.

Hah! Fuck this guy, and everyone else who buys an incEl Camino.

Don’t do what Donny Don’t Does.

It’s quite fitting that Jalopnik remains the final, broken-down piece of these sites. The jalopy rusting away in front of the condemned house in a decaying neighborhood. 

It’s almost like no one on Dan’s team has ever see the movie Fargo.

It is (but probably shouldn’t be) astonishing to me what is happening with the billionaire class in the US right now. Economic inequality is the highest it’s been since before the Great Depression, we have a guy running for president who wants to INCREASE that inequality, and he is considering appointing a billionaire…

But next time they’ll be based in Texas where the courts are extraordinarily management-friendly and the attitude is WAHOO GET THAT BAG OF MONEY *fires revolvers in the air*

At this point, Jalop writers are probably leaving errors in to reassure us they aren’t generative AI. As opposed to before, when they just weren’t being paid enough to care.

a coupe of people
…
everyone who was down on the ground got back up fairly quickly, which means they probably were too badly hurt.

I have trouble finding a good landing spot on letting a seller dictate future usage of the product you bought. While I think people who suck up good cars just for the sake of artificially reducing supply to sell them at a premium are assholes, I also don’t want Ford (et all) to get to tell me what I can do with my…

Who cares? Very clearly Tesla cared since they invented the story ...

We really should be putting up yield signs where 75% of stop signs are at

Please remember to tip and give your trafficker a 5 star rating if you were pleased with your experience.

““And everybody knows what’s going on in this country with fentanyl and child trafficking and rape. Terrible stuff.””

Ah yes, those child traffickers who famously return children to their homes safely.

“Are we all that surprised that the first Cybertruck owner on Nantucket used the pullout method?”

There once was a man from Nantucket

I’m normally on the ACAB side, but I’m really struggling to be displeased with what the cop did here.