This shit is actual gold.

Margarine is gross. Butter is amazing. This is fact.

This kid was lost well before he got to UNC. I'm torn because he probably shouldn't be in college, but it isn't right to stop educating him either because he obviously needs it.

Every time I see the phrase "skid row" I instantly get this stuck in my head.

It was really hard for me to assign Edies to Kardashians because I think Khloe is more spiritually aligned with Little Edie but Kourtney already dresses like her:

"he got cold cocked in the mouth." Tee hee.

Here are some reasons to be on skid row at night: buy drugs. End of list.

Oh shit, Zac Ephron thinks he's Tyler Durden.

I completely missed that these were impersonators at first because my brain totally seized up on "oh my god, the queen has a corgi phone!!!" I'm so dissappointed now :-(

"William" and "Her Majesty The Queen" are also giving killer mouth impressions here. I mean, though we've never seen it and it can't be said to have ever occurred, that is definitely what the Queen's awkward selfie face looks like.

Vodka here. How can you turdknockers even consider margaritas over me? Don't you appreciate all the hard times I've gotten you through? Plastic bottles of the cheap shit in college, to your secret stash of grey goose in the freezer for that rough day - I've always been there for you ingrates! What has margarita done…

Because it is Obama's initiative. Many of the same republicans that are voting against it now signed on for it in 2006 under Bush:

AHAHAHAHAHA suffer with me fools!

Older journals and published notes of military conquests and whatnot are incredibly entertaining. I have a journal of George Washington describing his interactions with "natives" as he travels across the US. His descriptions are incredibly straight forward.

There are 500,000 Indians living in Qatar. Since 2011 around 450-500 Indians have died due to any number of reasons. Without diminishing the value of human life, I would urge you to at least consider those numbers for some sort of context to the mortality rate of that particular demographic.

No. This is not racism. There is no troubling history of black folks using whiteface to oppress and marginalize whites. It may be silly and in poor taste, but it ain't racist. Not at all.

Marchman and I were just talking about this, and it feels like something has to give at some point. I mean, we've got eight years of reports like this ahead of us, and a World Cup in Qatar is basically untenable from a soccer standpoint as well. You can't play sports outside during the Qatari summer, and the heads of…

If you click through to the report and go to page 15, there's a sidebar with fatality numbers for World Cup and Olympic construction projects in other countries. Seven workers died during Brazil's World Cup construction.

For me, reading is something I do for fun and I do it often. For me (stressing the ME, not speaking for anyone else) that means sci-fi, fantasy, romance and "chick lit". Reading serious literature is just not my cup of tea. If it's yours, more power to you. But many people when they find out what I'm reading have that…

Oh gawd. Like anyone at the TSA can think beyond what they want to eat for lunch, much less tell if someone is "suspicious."