Well, you kind of know how it ends.

(Spoiler alert) The boat sinks.

I have never seen the movie Titanic.

Like a boss.

But my best friend wins. He's never seen any of the star wars movies, at all. He prides himself on it.

I'm pretty sure if Vodka doesn't make the Final Four, we're going to get treated to a full night of posts from Rebecca about how the universe is inherently a cold, uncaring place and that the whole of creation is but a blasted hellscape.

Gorgeous bedroom colors.

How on EARTH is she 5 months pregnant?! Jesusmaryjoseph—I had a bump within weeks. Just goes to show that there is no pregnancy standard!

her lipstick is on point, but that eye makeup is some frosted nightmare straight out of my caboodle, age 10.

OH MY GOD I LOVE THE HAPPY JUMPY NUNS.

I mean, I know it's early on but...Isn't she supposed to be pregnant? Her radiance is stunning. It's unfair.

Say you have a gym that has X amount of space. In that space, you can fit 100 aerobic machines. Each person uses each machine, on average, for an hour, so a 24-hour Planet Fitness can handle 2,400 people a day who want to use the treadmill/elliptical. If you're Planet Fitness, that means you either can have about…

That was one of my favorite parts of that movie. That and JLaw cleaning and rocking out to "Live and Let Die".

Want very fast hot chocolate? Sure, use a microwave. Or put it on a stove, you lazy asshole.

A grilled cheese in the toaster oven is a cheese toasty. And it's NEVER the same as a stove top grilled cheese. NEVER.

Imma let you finish, but the top loading / front loading toaster is the best toaster oven of all times (and is partially responsible for my top-loading toaster preferring partner still being with me. My toaster preferences swing both ways)

This list manages to contradict itself and be redundant.

Also "unfair sex practises"? Wtf is that?

Don't climb on statues! NONONONONO.

Try it. Then try it from 7000 miles away. Then tell me it isn't that bad.

This is quite a process in many places. I do not know how it is where Manning is a legal resident, but in my (and your) home state, Burt, it fucking sucks. You have to file the paperwork (which costs like $275), obtain finger prints to prove you aren't a convicted crim-WHOOPS. That might be an issue here for Manning.…

I, THE SOUTHERN ELEPHANT SEAL, AM THE WORLD'S BIGGEST CARNIVORE! STAND DOWN, SIR!!!