You know what man? I’m so sick of this bullshit. What, I’m supposed to APOLOGIZE for my family leaving me money? All I EVER wanted to be was a cop. I go out there and take it to the max everyday. I’m the first guy through the door and I’m always the last one to leave the crime scene. So you know what? F*** you, and…

Yo, that’s Mister Banana Grabber. A tattoo that I, as a person with no tattoos, can get on board with.

It mentions cars right in the title. Do you need pictures?

*eyeroll*

No, Jered... I don’t really think he’s reading comments on this site. In fact, if I’m being completely honest, I typed out that entire post pretty much knowing that he will never see it. But— and this is really important— I think you might be the only person here who requires that this be explained. 

Rumor is you can find an herb that does that...

That’s definitely built on a Hummer H2. The side proportions are practically identical. The early 2000's GM truck steering wheel hiding beneath that gaudy re-trim is also indicative.

If anyone wants to hit up ole’ Jimmy Spanny himself and ask him what the fuck is going on, here’s his number! 917-881-5965

rude of the email of the week to make me cry tbh.

It’s Jim Spanfeller. 

I saw this tweet the other day. It’s pretty inspiring:

You didn’t right EAT SHIT in this entire blog.  The hospital’s changed you man.

Thank you for the aneurysm.

You forgot to switch burners before you replied to yourself, silly 

I genuinely hope Elon Musk is one of the first people on Mars so he can get the fuck out of my face.

Yeah, you could definitely see him opening up. That was some fine diplomacy in the matter of Blues Brothers 2000 and this made me laugh:

I disagree - they’re decent, and respectful of the original.

The egregious and terrible nature of the core take here almost distracts from the absolutely heinous addendum about the best kind of pizza.