I actually have very little trouble believing that models are insecure about their looks - the nature of the job is that other people are constantly judging you based on them and offering their opinions about them, and people tend to remember criticism long after they forget praise, so one “no, she’s not sexy enough…

Liar Liar Tentacles On Fire

Shouldn’t it be a lemon?

the amount of times i’ve had to explain to my friends what “sophie’s choice” means when i use it is far too many times. it’s like they didn’t know it was her 4th most iconic role?

I don’t know why everyone is piling on to you :-/ Teigen says funny stuff sometimes, but the quote you mention does seem really disingenuous and ridiculous.

OK. Pineapple story:

Why would she call them “Shortly”?

I’m a little confused here. Is an explanation forthcoming?

“Well I’m dyslexic, so I can’t really tell.”

Cocking around the Christmas tree

“Your penis is still offensive,” another officer informs him. Relatable.

Chrissy Teigan is beautiful and witty and eloquent so you shut your mouth.

to me, it sounds a bit like your father has some deep-seated moral issues involving owls.

I was telling my dad this story and I found out he thought ho for Santa was spelled different from ho for whore. He thought ho for whore was spelled hoo.

My 12-year-old self “lol”ed with glee at this video and even more at the suggested headlines for it.

Frosty the Snowdong
Had a jolly, happy cock!
8 inches long,
3 inches wide,
Veiny and hard as a fucking rock!

Does CVS carry industrial-sized tubs of K-Y jelly?

All I said was,”it looks like this.” No I don’t have medical training and she knows that. Way to ruin a light hearted anecdote though. 🙄

Well, ok. I won’t dip my penis in Listerine but if you know of a better way to get fired from CVS I’m all ears.