I went to high school with Crystal Shiftknobs!

Now, please.  I’ll watch this movie now.  Just fire it up.  Go right ahead. RIGHT NOW PLEASE

Wake me up when 7-up Gold comes back.

Boonton?

Just do what I did and switch to nitrogen. Car tires, human lungs...it’s good for everything.

Not as bad as the “..., well, ...” interjection. A tic that started in verbal conversation and now people are, well, wasting the precious use of their finger muscles just, well, typing it out? That’s, well, worse than, well, just about, well, anything you can, well, think of, right?

15 years ago, when friends were pushing me to read Martin, Elizabeth Haydon’s Symphony of Ages series was what I read instead. No regrets.

Three years and eight months apart.  Sorry I can’t be more precise, I only have so many presses left on the keys on this keyboard and using them up typing additional extraneous words runs the risk of having it just shut down right in the middle of

I like how 150 miles is “just down the road from Watkins Glen (to Bethel)”. Especially when driving 150 upstate NY miles feels like driving 800 actual miles.

I hope I never find out what Super Blood Hockey really is. How could it be better than what I’m imagining? 

I tried voting with my feet once, but they put the buttons in those booths up way too high; I ended up pulling a hamstring.

Why waste your time with a Butterfinger when the Reese’s Crispy Crunchy exists? A thousand times better in every respect. Yes, it still gets crumbs everywhere, but you take the pain with the pleasure.

Drive the whole family down to the creek, do some old-timey laundry scrubbin’...what’s not to like?

The Gooch-Fant was inside you all along.

The secret to a good salad: room temperature dressing.

EVEN IF the letter didn’t...

Is a stromboli a calzone-cannoli? Look what you made me type.  LOOK AT IT

Stare at the letters long enough and they lose all meaning.

Any plans to squeeze the phrase:

I live on the opposite side of the country, but I can promise that every time a fellow NJ driver cuts me off, instead of getting angry I will use that same mental energy to telekinetically shove you several feet closer to your destination. If it helps.