I hear they’re gonna call it “Damous Fave’s (Not Famous Dave’s)“.

My grandma always kept a box of Charter Communications’ Spectrum Originals on the kitchen counter. If I was good, she would let me sneak a couple before dinner. I can still hear the crinkle of that wrapper...such memories!

The airbag is also a screen, that flashes a video of your entire life before your eyes.

“Alexa, brake!”

Or Durkee Famous Sauce! I mean, it’s famous! It says so right there!

Now this may sound crazy, but hear me out: shampoo AND conditioner IN THE SAME BOTTLE.

Where’s the smart money on how to open the doors? The Force? The Clapper?

But using a chain mail scrubber on cast iron, though...so metal.

The thing to do is keep chipping the rust away, shed as much weight as possible, and turn this thing into a pedal car. Just think of it: calves of STEEL!

Nachos? You mean crunchy lasagna?

You’re probably right.

Why can’t we concentrate on remaking/continuing the stuff that needs it? I know Ruffalo was in talks for Columbo, but wouldn’t Oscar Isaac be a better choice?

My favorite bit was in the fourth book where our heroes had to eat fruit to turn themselves invisible, otherwise risk getting mauled by bears that were also invisible. And then they got chased by those creepy, silent wooden gargoyles. Reads like a fever dream, good stuff!

I know you’re just trying to get me to read the headline several times, out loud, as fast as I can, but I won’t do it, I tell you! I won’t!

The people who think “yield” is a German word for “just keep going”.

And how is gazpacho not just really thin salsa? Hey, look, everybody! I’m eating my salsa with a spoon!

Meanwhile the Grammy Award should go to mine, for her marble cake recipe. Ah well, maybe next year, gram.

“I mean the odo said 156,163, but I got on the phone with the guy and was able to talk him down to 147,382!  I gave him my social and mother’s maiden and we sealed the deal then and there!”

I don’t think the pajama pants industry would have survived if it wasn’t for the invention of the drive-thru.

Assuming I’ll need both hands---how complimentary!