And all this time I’ve been trying to fit 20 lbs of garbage into a 13 lb bag! Who knew I had such options? Thanks, Nissan!

Neutral: How about produce a car battery that doesn’t substantially degrade after a few years? Last night I could have driven home in the snow OR defrosted my windshield to see, but I couldn’t do both, so I took a company car home. Loved it when I bought it, but the honeymoon’s over with me and those things.

Starring Vince Vaughn as Vince Vaughn in The Movie With Vince Vaughn In It

Maybe try storing food in your car and driving your fridge to work?  

I know, right? It’s simply not enough

Looking forward to future power plants filled with thousands of sock-wearing employees rubbing their feet against acres of carpet! Sign me up for that job!

At the risk of sounding crude and/or inviting more questions, Clorox urine remover works great on vomit, too! Never mind how I know! Happy Holidays!

At the risk of sounding crude and/or inviting more questions, Clorox urine remover works great on vomit, too! Never…

Okay, but she needs to change her name to “Claire Fooy” because the double-”O” still needs to be part of the thing...

Where else can you get scrambled eggs(?) and melon TOGETHER on the same paper plate?

“Honk if your horn is broken!”

Odor Eius

The wife and I do this dance every 6-7 years where one of us buys a pristine, high-tech dream machine that instantly makes the other person’s car look & feel like a rattling shitbox. I’m on the short end of that cycle right now and you better believe I’m browsing around...

Why not wait until the wheels are completely horizontal and just fly it out of there?

Yup, there’s a battery “kill switch” in there that emergency services can use in case the car gets in a wreck and they need to ensure it’s depowered/disconnected.

I wish this rule was in effect when I went to college there...

Congratulations to the Swedish Verizons!

YOU’RE HIRED TOO BUT YOU AND THE OTHER GUY HAVE TO FIGHT FOR A PARKING SPACE

YOU’RE HIRED

I’ve never watched ass tennis.  It’d be interesting to see how they hold the rackets.

The crowd in Ford’s theater that night thought they heard Booth shout the phrase “Sic semper tyrannis!” but as it turns out...