Then again, if they start making pizza with roots, it might actually taste better.

All right, smartypants. Take a hot dog, slice it, and put it between two Klondike bars. What do you have then?

I once knew an astronaut-dracula, does that count?

And my Dove Men+Care Elements Dry Spray: Mineral Powder + Sandalwood!

Aren’t we all?

Not again...I keep trying to push my credit card into the screen, but it’s not going in! What is wrong with this thing???

That’s the closet...

No worries, the airbag is also made out of Gorilla Glass.

53, 18, 00, 8

It’s what they don’t tell you about having a toddler:

I say Guster when I mean Gomez, and I say Gomez when I mean Guster! I tell ya, it’s non-stop hijinks at our house! Someone should make a show!

2 Annihil 2 Ation

To the end of my days, this will always bother me about the Blockbuster logo:

I’m trying to push my wallet through the screen, but it’s not working!

Unofficially though....it’s still yours truly.

Finally, at long last, some level of justice for Billie-Jo Skeleton.

...and then a unicycle comes out of the motorcycle, and then a pogo stick comes out of the unicycle, and then a limbo stick comes out of the pogo stick...at which point you stop travelling, because that’s where the party is.

I just crumple up the bills and shove them directly into the fuel filler.  That way ALL the money goes to driving and none gets taken out as gas tax.

I can’t stop repeating this sentence, quietly to myself, here at my desk.

At first I was like, “Kimiko Glenn,” but then I was like, “just make a Dr. Aphra movie instead,” and then I was like, “I’m hungry!” So who knows where we’ll end up?