"My name is Christmas McHeartbreak, and I do believe I win."

I don't care who makes the pickle-flavored popcorn that…a friend of mine theoretically filled their bathtub with and hypothetically ate their way out of; I just need help getting off the floor and your ultimate discretion in this matter.

I know it says "language" but which language? Am I gonna have to brush up on my Tagalog?

I would definitely check local union rules before hiring.

Look, we can dismiss this as spam, but if we're being honest with each other we have been neglecting our sidekicks lately.
When was your most recent last-second deathtrap escape? Team up again. Go solve a crime. Life is short, people.

Perhaps, with this admission, the ghost of Allen Ludden will finally rest?

As long as I can keep running off a cliff and not fall until I notice there's nothing underneath me, we're cool.

Hohumm.

You'll come around on Conceiving Sheldon.

I know, right? Why not just name the ship with a letter from an alphabet they don't use and could never have heard of?

Oh boy, you're really gonna hate Even Younger Sheldon.

Are we finally gonna get a show about a single coal-mining mom just trying to balance life & work?

I dunno, there's a TV here at work that shows the parking lot all day. Last season? When they re-painted the lines? Hard to top.

Meanwhile, there are only 65 episodes of Hey Dude.

Nope. It's a contest where you try to push a sandwich through the smallest hole possible. I won once, but I still lost, if you know what I mean.

never forget:

Yes, it definitely sounds like they need to…

They just had to pick 1997 week for this, didn't they?

If they wanted to mix it up, they should just spell "Donuts" backwards. A refreshing change that wouldn't offend anybody.

Tender Roving Lare