Eyeballs fell out of head, onto floor, under couch. She's theworst.

Hilaria's tweet made my eyeballs roll out of my head and onto the floor and under the couch.

1999: My parents' living room. Mine too, I guess, because I was 18 and still in high school. My boyfriend and I were getting busy in the back of the house, and my dad came through the front door. We disengaged and ran out the sliding door! I ran into the garage and put clothes on. My boyfriend's clothes. He ran around…

I call dibs on Encyclopedia Fucktannica.

Billy Crystal and Robin Williams. Can I be in the group now?

This is so disappointing on bajillions of levels - I love Self. I love their well-rounded approach to mental and physical fitness, with fun and travel and other subjects thrown in. Without Monika's amazing story of accomplishing something most of us can't do fully healthy - why in the eff are they making fun of anyone…

When people make these comments to me, I'm always dumbfounded that they don't see how much being born into whatever circumstance affects one's life. I am lucky in that I have a middle-class family I can fall back on if I needed to - and I grew up in a family that could afford to send me to college, where I could make…

Here's my theory with famouses and rock stars: they constantly have things done for them, people throwing themselves at them, people making their lives easier and exciting and all kinds of other things. They can more easily imagine a life without anything that makes it difficult, perhaps most likely have less patience…

Lauren Conrad being bland is part of why I like her so damn much. She's not out buying crystals, she'll probably vaccinate her babies, she's not ever going to be on E!s red carpet dispensing shitty dressing advice.

Let's start with discussing these.

I could not possibly agree any more enthusiastically.

My favorite part of the whollllle article, in which I agree 1,000% Madeleine:

All of your fake internet friends are super happy for you!

Yeah who the hell is voting PBR?! 30 PBRs = high quality drunk of 2 Dogfish Head 90 mins. It's the more economical and delicious option and you don't look like a dummy drinking it. Until you're done drinking it.

I had an interesting Dogfish Head 90 min night. I didn't know it was quite so potent. It tastes like normal beer. Normal, delicious, beer. Two drinks in I forgot where I lived and barely knew my name.

I disagree wholeheartedly with these two points - the term 'abortion inducing' when referring to birth control, and that requiring employers to pay for birth control screws them out of their retirement.

This owner's religious beliefs are affecting his employees' health and finances. I believe that's the line that you shouldn't be able to cross in your belief system - your privately held religious values shouldn't dictate another person's fundamental rights. Hobby Lobby isn't a christian, nonprofit organization.

This seems to be the definition of slippery slope - and ffs, Supreme Court, help a sister out here. Don't give bigots and assholes any help with their discrimination.

This is caring way too much - but ugh, Mila. No honey. You're a thousand bajillion percent better than this guy.

Yes