Try explaining that one to your insurance company. Them, “Yeah. Right? Now I’ve heard everything!”

Probably not Aces? It’s just too close to Asses.

Craig shouldn’t have to pay taxes again - ever!

It’s what the Founding Fath . . ., er Founding Mothers, fought the British for. Give us dildos or give us death!

I’m in for $20.

Shouldn’t he be suing the hospital, too? If you’re going to sue for those that wronged you, shouldn’t you sue ALL the parties that have done so? In fact, the hospital is probably more liable than ESPN.

He will now be known as Kurt Rambunctious.

The handout was that free toupee when you open a milion-dollar checking account.

GOP or a gun to my face. I might just opt for the bullet.