My wife says I also struggle with sudden loss of control when raised up. Fuckin' bitch.

Reporter: Marshawn, do you feel dehumanized? Treated like property?

"#wannakillmyself"

You must be fun at parties. This is amazing

You have trouble believing that?

Walmart deserves to be GOT anyway possible. They pay their employee's slave wages. I'm gonna go try this now.

Don't watch this!

Better angle, with slow-motion.

"That's the tenacity that gets you into the European leagues!"

important

Don't lie. You were definitely trying to be a dick.

Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against each individual car here. On their own, some of them are pretty grand.

Our friends at San Antonio-based Texas Armoring Corporation take their jobs very seriously. So seriously that they're willing to put their lives in the line to test their own products. Would you sit in a car while someone shot at you with an AK-47?

There was no need for you to write the second sentence. The first was sufficient.

When I saw "Man disappeared at Broncos game," I assumed it was one of the Chargers' corner backs.

Normal cool girls would say "can I help?" and not be weeping about it. I love this.

May as well tell mine. Sophomore year I had a girlfriend who was cool enough. Anyways I lived right next to campus so friends and girlfriends would pop in between classes daily. Well I'm going to town to some porn and my girlfriend swings the door open, there was no denying what happened. She immediately is like…

Word of caution to all of you new parents out there: it's exhausting having a newborn in the house, and you have zero privacy piled onto your sleep deprivation.

"What's the big deal?" some people say. Liking the Bengals isn't addictive! It's a social thing! Lots of people do it! But I applaud Hawkins for taking a firm stance here. If I caught my child doing it in my home, I'd react the same way. I don't care what the studies say; Cincinnati Bengals fandom is a gateway to…