All I can ask is “why?” Why waste what little reputation you (may) still have on deliberately withholding something that everyone would give zero fucks about if national security lifers were informed?

You know when you see someone do something incredibly stupid and get punished for it somehow, and in the back of your mind you think, “whoa, I could see myself doing that exact same dumbass thing. Thanks for taking one for the team!” and then you vow to mentally remind yourself not to do it?

She must be seeing red; she really got run over in that second set

All I can think of is the Whole Foods Parking Lot

It takes a special kind of douche to get me to root for the abusive tax evader, yet since I don’t see the meteor finishing the job in 12 rounds, I gotta go Floyd.

I thought it was a hate crime when I saw “gender reveal”, and instead it ends up just being a sad crime. What a choice...

Can’t it be both?

“Come on... I’ll give you 5 stars!”

Expect the results to be released immediately after a 4:30 am Trump tweet showing himself eating a live kitten. Problem solved

I had to give you an upvote; you were stuck on 69 and that image with that number was not the kind of image I want in my head at night

AHHHHHH! The sanctity of life is being desecrated before our very eyes! The end times are surely upon us when parents so brazenly refuse to acknowledge a child’s gender. I say there is a special place in hell for sinners so corrupt as this.

People are saying these things

Meanwhile, Padres pitcher flies out to deep short.

But you still have to read the darn thing to, you know, learn. What other options are available?

Uhh... Trump is the president of the United States of America. Not the United States of America and the United Kingdom. Not the United States of America and the Western World. His actions would be commendable if he were pledging full support to fix our own healthcare shortcomings for the vulnerable.

Was the guy filming the video thinking the moose was going to run right past him?

This “polite” society nonsense will be is the death of us.

Bill Cosby loved himself some New Coke, though maybe he used it as a chaser for the sedatives instead of its new great taste.

I think Bill Simmons talked about that back when he was cool and when I was cool for reading him. Neither of those are true now.