“Maybe you’ve been wearing sunscreen every day, all year, regardless of the weather—because that’s what you’re supposed to be doing”

It’s a fucking show dog with fucking papers. Fucking dog has papers, Dude.

Am I the only one who thinks this is pretty funny?

He’s good at baseball too. I hear he can throw that speedball by you and make you look like a fool, boy.

The way I be a Radiohead fan is this:

No! Don’t put it in someone else’s trash bin. That poop bag is PROOF that you’re one of the good ones who cleans up after the dog. When I walk the dog and am not carrying the poop bag, I always think that people are looking at me wondering where I left the pile. And when they find a random pile on their treelawn a…

Those guys got some big balls.

The best way to construct a sandwich without meat is to take 2 slices of rye bread, smear some dijon mustard on one side, carry the bread to the top of the Empire State Building, and jump off.

Shan’t?

After decades of trying to work out on my own and failing over and over again I broke down and tried crossfit. I’ve been doing it faithfully of around 6 months and am showing signs of not being the disgusting middle aged miserable pile of useless pudding that I spent most of my adult life being. I’m not sure why…

“We’ve been ruining QBs for around 2 decades now. Why don’t we try something different? What if, and stay with me here, what if we START with a QB who’s already ruined?! It just might work!”

I didn’t know that the ocean could be a confusing place for a kid to piss. Last summer on the beach my 5 year old told me he had to take a leak. I’ll be damned if we were going to treck across the beach to some damp restroom so, like any other dad, I said “just go in the water”. I start walking toward the water and…

That's why I could never be an Uber driver. Because some dipshit would want to climb into the front seat like he's John Fucking McClain.

I clicked through on the teabag photo. The absolute best part of it is the commenter who is absolutely certain that the photo of 23 year old Shaq dunking on 27 year old Howard is FAKE! And he's dead serious like Shaq was trying to pull one over on everyone but he was there to crack the conspiracy. I guarantee this guy…

I think a current comp to OJ would maybe be a guy like Ray Lewis. Former All Pro player who retired and is now doing TV.

Are you sure that wasn’t Mike Hargrove?

If my wife cheats on me and it's a one time thing...I never want to know. I don't care what that says about me.

Florida fans desperately searching for a way to blame this on Urban Meyer.

The fact that this clown is comparing himself to Stern and Welles is high comedy. This guy is so ridiculous. I have yet to come across a single person that liked him. Thank Dog he’s off my radio for good now. I may even tune in to that station occasionally. Probably not but maybe!

Hmmmm, you do make a very compelling argument there. But after considering it for quite some time I'm going to stick with the opinion that dumb teenagers dumbly sneaking into a bobsled track to dumbly take a ride for dumb shits and giggles while dumbly not considering the possible consequences and dumbly considering…