BUT YOU BETTER NOT GIVE YOUR KIDS A SLUT SHOT NUH UH

From the headline, I thought she was literally using/had used Entourage to ruin his life, and I was going to make a crack about “Entourage even still relevant by the time Tinder was a thing?” but...alas.

Why? It’s not like methane emissions have any effect.

Oh my stars, THAT GOAT <3

All I want is a cooking shortcut. That’s it.

She has a not insignificant drool problem.

ON FOOT??

That might actually be a pretty good rate of return, if she’s got a farm-supply buyer hookup.

I’d like them to try something: I’d like them to try TAKING OFF HIS STUPID EXOSKELETON VEST. He looks 100x more badass with his damn shirt off and I do NOT understand why every armored vest he wears has a cheap Halloween-costume-grade logo on it.

HOLY CATS that match was boring. Like, really, we went into hour five FOR THAT SHIT?

Also, is it dollars, or is it 95 CENTS? Request clarification.

Would it kill them to shake up their business model? New storylines and character shake-ups have alienated the diehard fans who were content paying $2-$4 per issue and buying issues from a dozen different runs. They’re slacking off because HELLO CAP IN HYDRA WTF, and new fans that might be pulled in by the newer, more…

My five y/o is locked into this right now. Lately it’s been “Short hair is for boys!” to which I reply, “Does Mama with her cool short hair look like a boy?” (Spoilers: I do not)

Uppers?

I just keep thinking of the scene from The West Wing where they send Donna to the meeting in North Dakota to listen to the people who want to remove “North” from the name.

...Is no one going to talk about the gal ditching housework for a boozy trip to North Dakota?

It blows my mind that the privileged youth has so little freedom.

Take it, love it, use it! It’s actually from Ghostbusters, so I can’t claim creative credit. Improvised by Bill Murray or in the actual script? Who knows!

Oh, good! Finally, a win for the Poors! I can handle “communication.”

Wait, I won’t be able to just drop my kid off at the other kid’s house anymore? I don’t have time to sit around small-talking for four goddamn hours while our kiddos build the Oregon Trail with Barbies or whatever.