One of my former co-workers named Allen died of AIDS-related pneumonia a number of years back.

I wish I had a camp.

I hope Grandpa Frank was a funny guy, and he sent those ridiculous moments to you guys as a heavenly gift. The dude picked his wedgie? That’s just too perfect.

Seriously, thank you for the translation. I was having a hard time with that one.

There are a lot of forgotten small family plots where I live. I think it’s sadder for them to stay forgotten than for them to become part of a community celebration.

How nice that you’re so accepting and tolerant of the beliefs of others.

When I die, I want my body to be given the wet process, and the resulting liquids (and ground-up solids) to be retained and mixed in at proper ratio with good, natural dirt. The dirt will then be inoculated with beneficial microbes, given an appropriate period for them to break down anything noxious in my remains, and…

This. Is. Love. I hope to God when I croak I still have family that gives enough of a fuck to not send me cross the river Styx lookin a hot damned mess.

For so many people, not being an asshole seems to be an insurmountable challenge.

The employee that “assisted” was not the sharpest tool in the shed. She did not even grasp the basic details: though my friend’s father was the one that had passed, she recommended that we chose a dress with a high collar or scarf so that the lower portion of his neck was covered. I suppose his cross-dressing days…

The service for my Grandmother included an extended ‘if you’re not washed in the blood of Jesus Christ, you’re going to hell’ after we specifically asked that it be non-secular as A) my twiced divorced grandmother identified as Catholic but understood she was not in good standing with the Church, and B) my sister…

I swear, I want to buy some land somewhere, then build a tower and offer Zoroastrian type sky burials. Seriously, the birds are welcome to my carcass. And if my kids do more than cremation and dumping the ashes somewhere, I will haunt them.

The crazy priest who performed my father’s funeral started his homily with, “John __ was a sinner ...”. I was boiling mad. Also, the funeral home put so much make up on him that he looked like a drag queen.

“Unless you pay us in full we will with hold your mothers body”....

I just want to hug you Anna and everyone who had to write a shitty review for a funeral/cremation/memorial. This is probably one of the most difficult things people have to go through and it is deplorable that there are people out there who don’t give a shit and are only in it for the money. We got extremely lucky…

My mother died in my home town, which is about 60 miles from where I live now, so there was quite a bit of "commuting" as final arrangements were being made. Per her wishes, she was cremated. I arranged to "collect" her on a Friday, so we could bury her at the family plot in another city on Saturday. So I drive up to…

When my mother died we were a bit unprepared, even though she’d been sick for a while. I guess we didn’t want to face it. We chose an open casket and the former funeral director, who was retired, still did the body preparation including make up and hair. I guess he enjoyed that part of his job so much that he wanted…

Who has an open casket funeral for something like that? That is horrifying.

I remember when a young friend and her mother were killed in a car accident while on their way to school back in 1999. They didn’t go with my family’s funeral home, who has been in the business since the early 1920s. The husband/father insisted on an open casket. My friend was unrecognizable. Her face was misshapen,…

I hold funeral directors in minimal high regard. Years ago, when my wife’s father died, we had to drive 600 miles on short notice to, among other things, make funeral arrangements. The funeral director figured that he could take advantage of a couple of rubes from the Midwest, and quickly tried to upsell us to a more…