Persoanlly I don't think a statement was neccesary. Just tell the cop his name

Cop"Ok, tell me what happened. Why did you hit him?"
Big Jim "His name is Hayes McGinley. He's a lacrosse player for Syracuse"
Cop "You're free to go..."

Honestly, if you (1) went to Syracuse, (2) played lacrosse, (3) looked like a douchy frat asshole, and (4) were named "Hayes McGinley," how could you not totally expect to get the Jesus Fucking Christ beat out of you at least once in your life by a guy named Big Jim Whitcomb.

You mean like...

Gigi, sweetie, you are being kind to that makeup artist — your natural look is so much better. She spackled you within an inch of your life. :(

As member of the Sisterhood of Hooded Eyes, I must say that the MUA did a great job with Christine's eyes. And her brows look gorgeous too. Okay, I like the gothy lip as well.

The way that shadow & liner are applied to "normal" eyelids makes my eyes look even smaller. I dug around on the interwebs to find out why I…

After reading these pieces I tried to do the mall makeover several time with absolutely no success. I went to Nordstrom like 3 times and was pretty womaned - ie completely ignored. I went to Macy's and the sales woman sat me at the counter, placed the applicators and mirror next to me and told me to try what ever I…

Matronly is the exact word for it.

Email Sent! I'm the one that's dressed like Forrest Gump!

can i be the first tomboy lesbian to take this on?!?

I'm reading it as super-light mascara, and some light shimmery orangish lipstick. It's nice, but I definitely wouldn't classify it as "a makeover."

Where are the gals with acne and dark under eye circles? Seems like everyone has great skin already and has a pretty much nonexistent makeup routine pre-makeover. Which, I guess to be fair, might make them good candidates for this to see what they like and what they don't, but still. It'd be nice to see some people…

Gigi, I love the eyes and lips, but honestly that foundation makes you look 20 years older! I'm not trying to be mean, you look so young and fresh in the first picture and then the second one you look matronly.

Just came down here to say that I grew up about 5 blocks from the Cerritos Mall (where Gigi got her makeup applied). My sister got her makeup done at that same MAC last fall, and she came out with almost the exact same face.

I think this is a good look for her (or you! where ever you are!) for nighttime. Maybe a lighter lip color for day? You still look like you, which is why I like it. Seems like it's something you could easily recreate.

Never in the history of ever has there ever been a more Santa Fe makeover. So understated. So heavy on the bronzer.

I just don't understand the eyes they did for Gigi (Entry #2.) First you spackle over any hint even of an undereye shadow...and then you go back in with purple eyeshadow and...re shadow the undereye area? Isn't that a little counterproductive?

Yeah, it probably does. A huge number of MUAs earn their stripes at MAC. It's more than just a retail job.

I like these! The first one is super cool—nice eyebrows. I do feel like the artist in the second one got ambitious with the color palette, but the components are nice. The last one it seems the artist listened to the client and gave her a look compatible with her comfort level that she could recreate herself. I am…

I broke up with this boy by the time I was 21, so I didn't waste a ton of money or sense on him.
And now I know! Just don't date musicians who haven't already established themselves in even a minor way!

Don't worry. The last time I checked in on him he'd moved back into his parents house in his shitheel hometown. (He always complained about living there, and when I left him he had a proper apartment in a perfectly fine city.)
So who won, really?
(It was me. I was always going to win.)