HAAAAHAHAHAHA yesss yesss, your tears, they give me strength....

“

It does sound harsh. It sounds like the feelings of others don't matter much. And I think that's common. And I think it's sad. I hope that you have grown in your capacity for empathy.

I avoided him after, when I could, but oddly it never affected me all that much until I read someone else’s words just now. I mostly put it up to a really bad no good night, but probably because it wouldn’t have fit anyone’s definition of rape in 1988.

Typically when I tell people this story I say I was sort of-raped. Tellingly, this guy - who was sort of in my peripheral friend group - clearly felt bad after and got his friends to like, try and make sure I didn’t think he had raped me.

Same exact experience. And another time where it was slightly different. For years I framed it as “not rape” but I was drunk in the first case and said no, and in the second I was coerced. It took me a long time to get to grips with it being ok to have been “raped”. I didn’t want to think of myself that way but if a…

So I started out agreeing with you, but then over time I just...

Legally, I don’t know. But as a guy, you can’t do that.

I read this dread and horror. This was me, but 14 years old and listening to tapes with a too-experienced-for-16, 16 year old. Reading this, my knees clamped and my stomach knotted and my mouth clenched. I got tired of saying no; he broke me down until I just didn’t consent or actually consent. I also was wearing a…

Something sort of similar happened to me, and I’ve always wondered about it. No drawn out negotiations, but I was drunk and didn’t want to and said I didn’t and he just did it anyway, and I let him. I was attracted to him and probably would have had sex with him, willingly, under other circumstances, but at that point…

Ugh. The bit about calling the ex, like asking permission to be admitted to the ex’s “property”.

She said no repeatedly. She never consented, she never assented (as someone points out in another comment). Lying there and not participating in the sexual encounter is a clear sign of discomfort and not consenting. Rape looks like this too. If she was “being coy” she would have participated or responded to the…

I just sat there and dealt with it. I figured once he saw I’d be as responsive as a corpse, he’d give up.

even if you hadn’t made it clear that you didn’t want to, even if you hadn’t given him multiple reasons why you didn’t want to, even if he thought you were just playing around..

The author said no many times and never gave consent. This is rape.

It’s like being told you’re not coked up enough to date Charlie Sheen.

I can’t swim that well. I’d have to resort to just walking around and going, “You shut up. And you shut up. And you shut up. In fact, all of you just shut the hell up.”

I had a kid, and was married. I took the ocassional girlfriend weekend trip....we weren’t any less of a family because I went away for a few days here and there, or my husband would go hunting for a few days (alone) every year. That’s what some families do, and it doesn’t make them any less “family” than others.

you know... you take the good. you take the bad.