Here comes the fake outrage cuz divorced dads have feelings too or some shit. 

Michelle Obama does not want to be a politician. She does not want votes. She has said so many, many times. She has said that she did not appreciate being pulled into the political arena. I wish people would stop accusing her of having a hidden agenda. It’s precisely that kind of bullshit that she doesn’t like. That…

He looks like a low-rent Beetlejuice

I saw this and while my first reaction to Kim K was “stay in your lane, we have enough narcissistic assholes in this profession already,” I have to admit that my secondary and more insistent reaction was, “settle down, anyone who has heard that woman talk for more than four seconds knows for a fact that there is no…

“I think it’s fine for Kardashian West to study the law or not—I’m just tired of celebrities asking people to forget they’re rich and have a gazillion nannies and personal chefs and assistants to make their lives easier”

HE WASN’T IN FLORIDA, THO!!!!

Did Samuel L. Jackson give up on his Motherfuckin’ plane?

Fam, that’s THEIR house now. Move. 

I just found and killed eight 2-foot snakes in my yard. So I’m saying I killed 16 feet of snakes. But seriously, I found a bunch of garden snakes on top of each other, and more coming out of a hole in a sewer cover. Should I be worried?

Did Ms.Python happen to have a milk shake...

there are about 5 in the Northwest that qualify,

This was my moral objection to the Twilight series.  Why those stupid vampires were killing perfectly good native predators when there was a perfectly fine city filled with total assholes that just needed killing  (there are about 5 in the Northwest that qualify, but he come a little south California needs a purge or…

Some people might argue that her death was justified—Burmese pythons are an invasive species in Florida, and tend to eat all the native animals and their food.

I’ve been using Axe Body Spray with no luck. Maybe I should switch to carrying around a male python.

Hey J man, I’m game to start culling humans ... and to make it simple we could start in FL (then TX, then ALA, GA, maybe KY and West VA ... ooh, there’s a helluva lotta folks that need to go)

So the male python is essentially a police informant. He better watch all 15 feet of his back once the word gets out. Everyone knows that snitchessss get stitchessss. 

It’s bad enough the natives here have to contend with kudzu, water hyacinths, citrus greening, and snowbirds. But to feign feelings for another invasive species that murders innocent Bambis, Peter Cottontails, Bob Cats, and Panthers is more than a bit hypocritical. Why Westerners whose religions teach the evils of the…

This is great news! Now so many more thousands to go. Not their fault for humans being the worst and releasing them. But fuck, they are wrecking shit.

Even worse, the python was only caught because of an oblivious sex partner. According to the Washington Post, researchers in the Everglades have been attaching radio transmitters to male pythons, who then lead the researchers to breeding females. Hence, this particular python’s demise.