Two cops walked in the gym during my JV basketball game. When the door banged shut behind them, the power forward on the other team turns around and books it out the other end of the gym. We got a few seconds of 4-on-5 play thanks to Johnny Misdemeanor, but still lost by fucking 20.

Briscoe: “Hardy? Your under arrest!”

12. Mace Windu redirected the Force lightning back at him.

“Excuse me, my gun is up here."

girl cant even tie up a whole store-full of employees at gunpoint and steal millions of dollars in jewelry without wearing a mask without being sexualized like whats a girl gotta do to avoid sexual harassment in the workplace smh

And, she suffered burns on her hands and feet BECAUSE SHE DID IT ALL BAREFOOT. She literally walked barefoot through fire and lifted a truck.

Then, his daughter realized the truck’s gas tank would explode and could engulf the house in flames. She jumped in the driver’ seat and gunned the truck sideways on its three remaining wheels, away from the house. She then grabbed a garden hose and began spraying down the house before firefighters arrived.

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

IF YOU HAVE A PARTIALLY TORN LCL, COACHES MAY MAKE YOU PLAY.

For some reason I don’t feel like blaming the loss on the only guy who scored points for his team yesterday.

You, sir, have never been 20 minutes outside of downtown Seattle in any direction.

If you have a good doggy, does anything else really matter?

THESE VIKINGS I CALL THEM JULIUS CAESAR BECAUSE THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS JUST ENDED ON A BRUTAL SHANKING.

Your life is not everyone’s life. This is not a universal solution.

theaTURRRR

I, too, look forward to Ed Hochuli’s CYA explanations in the playoffs....

“On the play, number 97 from the defense attempted to pay his mortgage bill with funds from a 401(k) without submitting a W-8 to specify how much he wanted to withhold. At the same time, number 24 from the defense returned a videotape to…

Mock Jim Tomsula ALL you want. Dude had his contract paid off when he was fired. He made $14-million for coaching one miserable year of football. Do you know how much Costco instant mashed potatoes $14-million buys? Jim Tomsula does!

We’re all adults here.