Now here’s an idea with some merit.

Might as well just ban all streamers just to be safe

Ah yes, the readily available PS5. The solution is to buy hardware that can play the software because the hardware that supposed to already play the software doesn’t work due to the software itself. Perfect solution. 

Guess what? You and your company are scalpers too! Fuck you!

Bloody hell, I sure can. Riddle me with arrows, you Irish Amazon. Impale me with your electric spear, you muscular cavewoman.

All I hear is “Wah! Wah! I can’t fap to that!”

lol I love that it’s the fucking terrifying design from Shin Godzilla. What an insane movie that was.

The fact that they’re using the most unsettling (i.e. the best) Godzilla design is such a plus.

The Rockets:

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

I was offered a job here last summer. When I read the contract, I decided to ghost them (it basically said anyone can harass anyone, the justification being the sewer like comments users leave on their posts, but the protection blatantly extended to employees themselves harassing each other).

Benoit was always on the Network, he’s just not searchable.

Congrats to Danny Ainge on breaking both Isaiah Thomas and Markelle Fultz’s careers.

So will this earn him that dreaded “Difficult To Work With” label that results in your acting career going down the shitter, or at least leaving you glad to get roles in Lifetime movies? Or does that rule only apply to female performers who refuse to do nude sex scenes or touch the director’s pee-pee, not dudebros who…

And that throwing shoulder looks a little dodgy.

7. Hoard it forever because you are emotionally attached to it.

You are wrong and don’t know anything about football if you think he wasn’t a “very good football player”.

Just want to say thank you for all your work, especially your incredible investigative pieces year after year. Deadspin is a great place for dick jokes and making fun of Austin Rivers, but for me, no author’s byline here commands as much attention as yours.

You know, it's really hard just being a shark without all these unrealistic expectations weighing down on me because of how sharks are portrayed in the media. Sometimes I can't deal. Hence, why I ate this dick who couldn't watch where he was swimming.

Post-wine texted this to the ex-husband who keeps contacting me