All Wainwright did was talk about how great he and his buddies are and how Heyward is a coward. We might all be used to the Cardinals’ classless “me-first” attitude by now, but it doesn’t make it any less of a blight on the game.

“Hyperbole serves no one ever.”

Do you think Goodell actually says “Bring out the Gimp.” when they need Peter King’s services or does he merely think it?

You’re half right. It was loaded with blanks. But one of the blank casings go jammed in the barrel... And the rest is history and Michael Masse’s biggest regret.

Jesus. Christ.

What the fuck are you doing?

In so many ways, “brain trust” is the wrong word for the guys who run the NFL.

An entirely reasonable comparison that any reasonable person would draw.

I would like to deeply apologize for the above comment. When I said “so long Jerkbags”, I didn’t mean to imply that the rest of you are, in fact, Jerkbags. I was suffering from exhaustion at the time and have deep respect for the Jerkbag community.

“Great, now we’re both suspended!”

It’s not really a big deal that 1500 people stayed after the game. They had to wait for their dad to shower, meet with the media and impregnate his wife before they could go home.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing top flight swingmen that defense doesn't exist.

BACK IN MY DAY WE DIDN’T HAVE CHECKPOINTS AT ALL, WE HAD TO LEAVE THE NES RUNNING ALL NIGHT IF WE DIDN’T WANT TO START OVER, YOU YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPER GAMERS ARE SPOILED BY AUTOSAVES etc.

For cheapskates like me - seeing this Peyton is like using scissors to cut the top off a tube of toothpaste towards the end. You know your meddling has allowed you to squeeze 1-2 more days’ use out of it, but you know in your heart you also doomed that tube. And now looking at its tattered, ineffective husk just makes…

Columnist deeply concerned that a black woman gives him an erection.

It’ll be an espionage-action game about an under-appreciated man who has to escape from an evil spa manufacturer before he’s turned into a janitor.

Who’s melted looking?

MY CLIENT IS NOW THE 1 IN 24-1! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GIANNIS ANTETUK.....ANTETUTU....ANTITUOMPA.....ANT......... THAT GREEK GUY!