I believe it still counts as a pickoff—just a very, very slow one.

“I want to kiss you, Kim Jung Un.”

Spicer: “The president has an EXCEPTIONALLY LARGE, FULLY ENGORGED PENIS!!!” *storms off*

Why doesn’t Jesus eat M&Ms?

A lot of people say the crucifix was in, but I think he nailed it. And yet the double-A Binghamton Mets fans are screaming GIVE US BARABBAS (Antonio Barabbas, young Dominican shortstop prospect).

ELITE INTERIOR PASSERS make me start hyperventilating. Basketball’s just so much more beautiful when everybody’s in motion and the ball is whipping around.

AY DIOS MIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

My cousin made it onto Season 5 and I watched that one, though they didn’t show her until she was eliminated in Hollywood. During the audition, this one kid was all “I look and sing like Clay Aikin!” and then sucked. And begged for a second chance. And sucked more. During the finale, they brought him on stage, and the…

Setting my alarm for 530AM to get the full 4.5 hours of Kirk and Callahan on WEEI with the HOTTEST TAKES. It’s going to be great. You’ll get Sully from Carver with his “I have a black friend” take. You’ll get Ben from Manchester who once sat in the out field in Fenway in the 1980s and NEVER HEARD A RACIST COMMENT, so…

“Hopefully the Red Sox can keep their more abusive fans in check.”

“Nobody knew that creating a music festival could be so complicated.”

Like, why would anyone try to actually scam us?

It’s because Barron isn’t his kid.

If the world was fair, he would be followed for the rest of his days by people saying his kids weren’t real and were false flags.

Before choosing to watch my favorite team on television, I, like most sports fans, apply a strict political litmus test on the ideological philosophy of the network broadcasting the game.

WHY ISN’T THIS BEING TALKED ABOUT HERE:

It’s pretty obvious she is making light of the irony around going to a prison and feeling free. That’s the joke. I mean, come on. This website is like the liberal Breitbart. Do you even know what you’re mad about anymore or are you just frantically searching the internet for something someone said so you can get upset…

I’m not a Scientologist, and I’ve read/seen/heard many of the accounts of abuse within the religion, but every time I read/see/hear criticism of it, I can’t help but think “what’s the difference between those abuses and thousands (millions?) of similar or worse committed by other religions?” And what is the difference…