“Mr. Murphy, this video mishap is an important part of my life. What was going on in your mind on the air when that happened.”

But what if it’s a flyer for a doctor and it turns out this doctor is the only one who can cure you of a very itchy rash that has been spreading all over your body since you picked up that flyer.....

“I definitely smelled The Pot”

I also don’t know enough about sports to Really have valid opinion

Science is whatever we want it to be.

I think the discussion about who was right and who was wrong in this situation is obscuring the fact that the music of the Black Eyed Peas is absolutely horrible.

Dickens World. Come for the gruel, stay for the dysentery.

Spray-painted slurs is the safe, shallow end of the pool. Go ahead and splash around there. Right depth for you.

Bleachman would kick all their asses... with a sanitary needle.

Shouldn’t Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson be a lot lighter?

But what kind of anal thermometer does he use?

saying derogatory things about Mr. Met’s mom

Coincidentally Donald Trump’s hands are known as “The Smurphs”.

They’re called Ball Boys? What happened to the Bat Boys?

That lipstick makes her look like a harlot.

He came in 2nd in the MVP voting 4 times, which along with his 3 MVP wins shows you what a dominant player he was.

When ESPN would announce they had John Clayton coming up I would actually wait around and not change the channel.

North Carolina lured Remington to the team with shady and illegal maneuvering: a closet full of delicious dress shoes, a restraining order against all vacuum powered devices and a stable of bitches at his beck and call.

Despite your assurances Russia, if she fails to medal we’ll all know why.