“They didn’t believe in you! No one thought you would do it and you proved ALL the haters wrong. He’s too big. He’s too old. His time is up and he’ll never reach as high as he did earlier in his career. And yet, here you are, once again, lighting up the sky. Congrats, big man.”
-Tom Brady, every morning to the sun

I don’t understand the narrative that people doubted this team could win. I don’t think anyone doubted that. I think far more people were resigned to that fact, disgusted by the inevitability, but no one doubted it.

Thanks for your EVE articles. I dont think I’ll be picking it up anytime soon but I have always enjoyed news about the game as dispatches from a parallel universe.

President Obama’s “health care for all” law was officially called the “Affordable Care Act” but has been nicknamed Obamacare in honor of its champion.

We have Trump because America has a bunch of racist assholes who are willing to screw themselves over economically just to fuck over people of color? Yeah, that sounds right.

“Artist’s rendering of White House transition of power. Image via Kensington Palace/The British Monarchy.”

.... haven’t pulled this one out in a while, but; Dear Mr. Lasner and Dear Husband of Mr. Lasner,

I wouldn’t be so sure. If we’re talking about the recent Revis coverage, really anyone could be behind it.

“I don’t immediately jump to molesting her. I wait 10 years. But so we’re clear, I’ve called dibs on that.”

Schilling looks like the truck driver at the counter in some diner in the middle of nowhere ready to tell you how the world REALLY works, which they aren’t gonna teach you in some fancy college.

Diner: “Can I have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, beer and the injured player walk-through special please.”

Waiter: “Would you like the special teams player injury or can I interest you in upgrading to a starter?”

Attn Trent Dilfer:

The only acceptable answer for a white man in this situation is as follows:

“Regardless of my own take on this situation, I am in no place to give my opinion, as I have not had to deal with racial prejudice at all during my lifetime. I am thankful to live in a country where a tasteful demonstration of…

Leroy Hoard who had an all-time fat back quote: “If you need one yard, I’ll get you three. If you need five yards, I’ll get you three.”

I haven’t bought a football game since NFL 2K5 because Madden still hasn’t caught up to where the 2K series was for fun.

The memes/jokes have made this ridic story worthwhile.

Aren’t Ocelots also native to the Nevada desert? Las Vegas Ocelots would get a lot of cachet from Archer fans.