“Look, I’m a dog. trained well. I have no sense of humor, ability to speak human words. Dude threatened women? I’m a dog.”

Yikes

I’ve literally had that convo with my with. I just used skittles, birth control and... what’s the last one....? oh shit, consent.

No, the truth is he didn't care. Sandusky was an asset and a friend. He helped Paterno win and thus Paterno was willing to overlook children being raped.

“Mr. Paterno”

I love “MAGA” because TI is right - which part of American history do we want to recreate today? Because most of American history SUCKED for most of the population.

Tennessee paid 950k for a Georgia State loss. Maybe Georgia Tech got a deal?

Is there anyone in Cleveland that doesn’t grow a beard to hide their shame?

Wait, did he write all that on a group text?

I don't believe in much, but I will sacrifice my body and soul to protect the sanctity of Margarita Mondays.

I remember when this guy was good. Like, he was consider a future hall of famer even after all his injuries and shit. What happened?

That’s why you need to practice the same self-defense strategies I utilize to great success: surround yourself with friends that can’t lift a barbell, let alone throw one.

“Been there. Done that.”

Does the NRA actually have 5 million members? I was under the impression that most of their membership is dwindling and they are being propped up by massive donations by gun manufacturers.

“to prevent or stop people from committing acts that are anti-social or negatively impacting on the orderly operation of society as a whole.”

You have to have some balls to deny a woman a job for the crime of being black in FUCKING MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE.

Tucker Carlson openly espouses racist ideas - then he attacks guests for saying “hey, maybe don’t say racist shit?”

Burns: “confederated slave holdings. how’s that doing?”

I haven’t though about the Facts of Life in about 30 years. Was that the one with Tuitty?

The rest of the league: