I’m so ridiculously thankful to have attended college before social media existed.

Just incredible assholes. Makes me boil with anger. I kinda want to fight these guys.

“Plus, I won more games without it than did with it in.’’

Lmfao!

America’s Funniest Home Videos hosted by an uncensored Bourdain would be the greatest show on television.

“I won an Emmy for playing a woman dying of leukemia on L.A. Law, starring Harry Hamlin and Susan Dey.”

Good for them. Maybe next time they can hire someone who won’t have such a ridiculous commute.

Rick Trotter was terminated as an employee of Downtown Church.

Maybe the lesson is...poke fun but don’t be so mean that your cold, black heart is evident.

Hah, I remember that article - scorching hot take. I also remember most people agreeing that you were a dick about the whole thing, because frankly that family was harmless. I’d 100% buy any book you published, but good on your former agent for cutting the cord.

“You should really be quite disappointed in yourself as a journalist...”

nice clickbait headline you fucking dipshit. weight room, locker room, what’s the difference?

“Those peanuts would go great with the milk I’ve kept in my mouth for the past 5 hours”

I must be strong

Usually I’m fine with making a tasteless joke on Deadspin no matter how tragic the story but this time I think I’ll pass.

Nothing compared to Mike Huckabee teaching his sons to continue eating while shitting.

Searches: Most popular sex positions.

I recognize that glow on their faces. They totally feel asleep while watching HGTV.

Ah, come on. He’s not that bad. Cut the guy some slacks.