Thankfully we’re still safe in the knowledge that microwaves heat food using dangerous radiation.

I hate the planet so put my full size range to 600F and preheat for hours to cook every meal. ‘Course I have to use air conditioning in winter, but it’s worth it.

What about Amandla’s siblings Sarlah, Malissla, and Beckla?

As long as other social media sites get caught in the crossfire, it’s all good.

I’m betting he likes them oh so young.

Until you grow up, anyway. Routinely stealing things after, say, age 25 is as pathetic as living in your parents’ basement at that age, which many thieves do.

He’s definitely a dark web snuff porn kinda guy.

I know, but come on, it’s Robert Evans. Would Robert Evans screw Robert Evans to improve Robert Evans’ performance? You’re damn right he would, and he’d drain Robert Evans’ sack so dry it’d twist up and blow away like a leaf in fall.

Well, the ruling party is literally called the Chinese Communist Party.

“Until you divest from your current Chinese government-owned corporation and are picked up by another Chinese government-owned corporation by way of a dozen shell corporations, consider yourself banned, mister!”

Why aren’t you allowed? I’d like for him to be penetrated with a thorny branch via urethra until he dies from trauma.

Now tell us about the hidden subtext in RL Stine’s “Goosebumps” series. Come on now, you know you’ve yelled at 11 year olds about it.

He’ll win with the help of Russia’s, China’s, Iran’s, and North Korea’s cyberterrorism farms. His actual supporters are the minority.

It should be a basic assumption that the way a person looks and acts on the outside in no way relates who they are or how they feel inside.

Never before has someone with so little personality gone so far up their own asshole.

I thought they all used MySpace.

No criminal use because who would seek out a huge and heavy 50 caliber weapon when there are nearly limitless other options that kill just as well and cost thousands less.

It’s in the crown’s best interest to portray royals as celebrities otherwise people will find out that they ‘re useless

I bet this one you can open and close upwards of 7 times a day without fear of  it breaking until the second month.

I can’t believe it took the royal PR department this long to come up with that explanation.