Was totally confused by this headline for about three seconds before assuming it was somehow related to some kind of MAGAt garbage.

‘Cause you got a fart (fart) so big / It could crush (crush) this town 

And sometimes the dude is just a spectator.

No strong feelings either way, but this is My Vampire Weekend Story…

Is referring to the author as “Carolyn,” rather than her actual name, some inside joke I’m missing? Because at least two commenters have done it.

Vegans apparently only talk about being vegan

Same.

And the My Beside the Point Didacticism Can Wipe the Smile Off Any Face Award goes to ...

THAT’S PART OF THE BIT WERE U ALSO OFFENDED BY PRINCE SONG TITLES

Mint tho.

Great. So see you Saturday, then?

Yeah I’m waiting for the “DISABLE THIS GMAIL FEATURE RIGHT NOW” story on Gizmodo.

He went looking for a Regory novelty license plate. But they were all out.

They offered to buy you a dog?

Friendly suggestion: Shame the sellouts in the headline. These motherfuckers should be front and center, not revealed halfway through the piece.

Have you ever set foot in New York?

I gave up meat cold turkey (pun inevitable but not intended) 20+ years ago. Never missed it. Cutting cheese (dammit!) was much harder, though it has always wrecked my system.

George Steinbrenner is dead?

Heartbeat sold well and was actually not a bad pop record for 1985 (I think that was the year). Willie Nelson was on it, among other credible musicians.

Saltines in milk is apparently a thing for some people of a certain age. But it’s worse than that.