Hey now, those who dress with the brand you share a name with (almost) have failed to live up to the highest goal of women- to create unique and different outfits every day so they can show their acquaintances how creative and interesting they are.

I don’t wanna get too conspiracy theory-ish but... Big Sean recently released a rather graphic breakup song about being happy to be free of a crazy ex who’s still focused on him (albeit on hurting him), no? And Grande has a single out now that involves her trying to guilt trip an ex who’s over her into sleeping with…

This matchup makes an absurd amount of sense to me, because they both give off this similar southern matriarch vibe without necessarily being southern. Like, public face that’s sweet, polite, and deferent (I cook meals for the men in my life! I write love songs where I quietly wait for him!*), but underneath the shell…

There is literally no better food than a sausage dog with mustard and relish eaten after running 12 miles. Nothing.

Spicy sausage from the old southern general store and butcher :). Used to eat them after cross country practices.

Now I want chorizo...

I’m picturing guys in nothing but basically boy shorts and an apron, especially with well-muscled backs.

This friend in need of motivation to get himself to the gym?

It’s better if they’re nice and thick.

Psh. Civil War generals are sexy.

This article seems like it could be triggering.

Your fancy linguistcs might tell you that, but it's just what Big Dictionary wants you to think.

You know that smile you make when you’re thinking “oh that’s adorable, but wtf” in a completely sincere way, but you’re trying to keep a straight face so it comes out looking super condescending? That's Kims face right there.

Sorry. I also go around leaving mind controlling chemtrails in my spaceship for kicks and giggles when I come to earth. Only reason I’m here so often is because I have a big thing for steak, and you gotta find cattle somewhere.

It was strange that the only scenes that in any way subverted the “white girl tames wild foreigner” thing that permeated her storyline were edited out of the show. Or maybe not.

Sure but just so you know... Those are MARTIAN Martinis. Made with algae.

Brb investing in gem mining and adult toys as we speak.

You know... That kinda sounds like foreplay, which probably tends to reduce stress, which can make it harder for you to get well. Think I’m gonna start recommending assmethyst therapy to everyone.

This is the sort of comment (hers) that Godwin's law was made for.

It's a disorder you say is fact but is in fact fictitious- factitious. A wonderful portmanteau. And, just so you know, portmanteau can cure vaccine-induced autism.