Ah, I think you're right. I use a rosemary shampoo, and I knew that scent reminded me of something. I thought maybe the original Clairol Herbal Essence, with the hippie chick, and now I think it's Noxema.

I'm 25 and I love it, and I've used it since high school. But I might be an Inner Old.

I really want "Boudoir Size" to be a thing. Specifically. I want large lube bottles to come labeled as "Boudoir Size."

She spelled "faith" as "faif." FAIF. I am dying from cute.

Use a yoga ball, it's how prosluts do it.

That sounds like a fast way to use up your snatch all right.

What does "slutting out" over a guy mean? I'd like to learn more about this so I can do it properly the next time I meet a guy I agree with.

Vodka is already president, Burt! You can stop your campaigning!

I'd prefer to wallow in my manufactured faux-outrage, thank you very much.

"But there's a white lady chair!" "This is a play on Allen Jones' art from the 60's; why is it only bad if it's a black woman?" Is it possible that there might be different connotations and implications with a black lady chair than with the white lady chair (besides the obvious sexism in the whole depiction of women…

What the hell does that last paragraph even mean? Do battle? Like, what, star wars Jabba the Hut style? I don't get it.

This is kind of weird but I'll share it anyway. I've always been very open about my body and never really tried to hide it. Some people think that I might be a little too open about it but whatever, it's my body. Well, one time a website offered five figures for unaltered pictures of my body and then they made a post…

It's just more of this, which has never been witty or interesting.

I dunno, (wo)man... I get dizzy every time I gotta switch from knit to purl. And don't even get me started on my special teams work of tucking the tails in... Things turn into a bloody mess right quick... It's such a confusing headache.

STOP IT. TAKE A NAP WITH THE PUPPY, YOU JERK. My favorite thing on earth is when my dog naps with me. I call him my furry sleeping pill.

When someone says "Stop playing the race card" they really mean, "Stop calling me out on my racism." It's as simple as that.

Ah, yes. The race card! For you see, racism is dead! For we are all colorblind! Thank you Sarah Palin, as a POC I am quite happy to know that there are some things I should just stop! Let's make a list.

1. Being mad! For you see, I, as a Black person, am just so unnecessarily mad and just in general making my blackitude…

But why can't it hurt them?

Hmmmm. Jan 20th. Jan 20th. What's the proper way to celebrate the anniversary of not her being sworn in as Vice President?

SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP